Blah, blah, blah

Blah, blah, blah

Lately I find myself feeling lost and overwhelmed. My anxiety is something that just seems to be too much on some days. My diabetes is much the same as it seems to have a mind of its own. Some days sticking another needle or popping another pill to combat diabetes is just too much for me. They are constant reminders that my life is different than it was just a few years ago. Now not only does my shadow follow me wherever I go but so does my diabetes. It is part of me and on some days it may even define me. Some days I am tough and battle it right back where it came from and others, well, it wins. Anxiety seems to be something that I do better with when I am up and now that I am down it is doing its best to keep down. I thought I had a friend to help but that just isn’t the case. I expected it but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to hurt too. Sometimes you reach out and hope you get back what you gave out but all too often the hand you reach for isn’t there. Time invested in things such as this are all too often just time invested into thin air. I guess you always hope that this time is different but throughout my life it just hasn’t been the case. Friends are hard to come by in the sense of I am there for you and you are there for me. Yes I know, life gets in the way but maybe someday it won’t because I am a friend to you. I could go on and on but it just doesn’t matter. Time to let go of you. Time to focus back on me now. Time to kick my diabetes and anxiety in the ass. Shame on me for thinking you would be right there beside me too.