The Gym

The Gym

I have been going to Planet Fitness now for over a year. It is one of my accomplishments over the last year of my evolving life. I sometime even go twice a day now and really enjoy it. I am glad I overcame the fears I had about joining a gym and then actually going to the gym. I really was afraid of the unknown and being judged by others there working out. I stepped over the threshold of fear and into a World of fitness. I must say that PF is a good place for that with everyone wearing headphones and watching TV's which are in front of each cardio machine. The age range at PF is about as wide as you can get as well. The young and the old make it to this gym as well as the fit and the trying to be fit. It is a comfortable place to be for anyone.
I still must admit that I face my own frustrations at PF. I want to do more while I am there but I am stuck in my fears. It took me a long time to be able to go from the bike to the treadmill and then the treadmill to the elliptical. I can now move amongst these machines without the worry of my anxiety overwhelming me. However, even with all this success there are stumbles for me still today at PF. I try to get around them but it isn't easy and while I am on the treadmill I look at other machines or the weight area hoping to one day be there too. Is it the fear of being looked at? Sure it is part of that as I can't stand it and I know people in this World people watch. I don't want to be watched and while it doesn't seem like an issue at PF it is an issue in my mind. That place, my mind, is often so much more powerful and controlling than reality. The mind is so powerful and it can imagine things so vividly it is as if I feel them and experience through my minds visions.

So last week I decided spontaneously to just use some of the weight machines. I only used three of them and I only did it once as my anxiety has kept me from trying them again. I was anxious while I was using them but happy after I did so. I really want to go back but the anxiety is there waiting for me. If I can bring myself to do it a few more times than it will open the door to becoming part of my gym routine. I am sure I can get there in time, my time. The good thing is that I believe in myself now and will get there. I am not defeated by a set back as I used to be only a year ago. I keep searching for the solution and keep making sure I don't let my fears get too big and envelope everything so I stuck. Someday I may even use the tanning bed at the gym or the free weights.
I will get there!!!!!