I failed… 3-7-07

I failed… 3-7-07


I took and exam today for English Composition and I did not get the minimum grade I needed for credit. I was close but I fell short of the needed correct answers. I am not sure I have ever come up short before in a test. I guess there are good things to take from this experience despite the fact I just spent $85 on basically nothing.

My anxiety was a factor leading up to the test and at the test but I won’t say that is even the main reason I came up short. I think the fact that I could have studied more and started studying for this long ago. I believe that would likely have eased some of my fears and anxiety. I thought though I could pass this test in my sleep and since I got little sleep I guess I proved I couldn’t pass it in my sleep.

The anxiety during the test was tough as I had trouble focusing on the actual questions because I was stuck on the timer. I should have been prepared with something to block the timer, such as a post it. I have had success with that method in the past. I also began to get hot despite the fact it was not hot in the room and may actually have been a tad cold. My legs kept moving and I was just plain restless.

In trying to find the good in this I am struggling. I know there are good things and I will list them here but my mind is on the fact that I failed something. I did not make the grade.

So the good is that I made it to the test despite not knowing anything about it. I walked in my uncomfortable zone today. I went to the campus of USM and to the testing center. I had never been in any building on USM campus except for the gym or ice rink. I had never been among other college students such as this either. I was unfamiliar with the building, the bath room locations, and the whole procedure for the test. So in that respect I did very well as I was able to get myself to it and through it. I battled my anxiety and did make it through the whole thing.

I am disappointed right now and I feel bothered by not making the cut. I believe I could have and in fact I know I could have made. I should have made it. Anxiety makes things tough sometimes for me but I think I can overcome it. Today was a struggle with good and bad. I just can’t help but feel sad though.