The Moose

The Moose

Here I am looking into the woods.
Three moose before me.
I want to take their pictures.
I am sure they want me gone.
Anxiety inside me begins to boil.
Get the shot and get gone.
Get the shot and get gone.

No I say to myself.
Get the shots YOU want.
So I stay and get closer.
Am I ignoring my common sense?
Calling it anxiety or panic attack?
I am breathing harder with each step.
The camera lens shakes.

Focusing is hard.
It is snowy, it is dark.
Not the conditions for the best shot.
Normally I quickly adjust.
Not now though.
No, just a few more shakes.
A mind debating with itself.
Should I stay or should I go now.
Playing a song right in my head.
Eye to eye with the moose.

The lens brings me that close.
Do I look through the lens and focus?
Or do I hope I get the shot and make sure the moose stays put?
Three of them and one of me.
Zooming in means I can’t see all of them.
Anxiety over what to do.
One side just give up and pack it in.
Call it good enough. A win-win.
The other side says stay.
Find a calm place.
Focus and do what you do best.
Remain calm when the rest would be gone.
Think it through and do your best.
So the battle goes.
I look within and dig in.
The shots are mine.
I stay and get them!!


Sometimes with my anxiety and panic it is hard to stay and see things through. Often I either just do not do something, simply can’t do something, or never even try it in the first place. I need the answers before I get the question. Life as we know it doesn’t often work that way and thus it is very hard for me on most days. This though was a battle I fought right there and right then. I stayed and got the shots. I could have walked away and been justified but I am sure my mind would have torn me apart inside. This time I battled and won. It is one step and one step at a time. Forward is forward.