Testing Anxiety

Testing Anxiety
 
 
Do you remember gearing up for the big test? I know it has probably been a few years for most of us and, well, for some many, many years. Things have changed a bit in today’s World. Taking a test can now be done online for many colleges. I have first hand experience with this and have had some big issues with it because of my anxiety issues. Before you say that everyone gets this type of anxiety lets walk through my thinking and let me know if it is what you had in mind when you were going to tell me that you know what I ma talking about.

Yes, I too get anxiety before the big test or even the little test. I prepare and re-prepare for my exams. I have to feel comfortable and ready when taking them or I just can’t take them. I feel shaky if I don’t feel ready and can’t focus. So I make sure I am ready and set to go.

Here are a few online tests as examples to what has happened to me and the affect it has had during and after the tests.

Test A: In this class I had received very little feedback from my professor during the course but my grades were fine. I was also told I was an ideal student during an advising meeting. So when I prepared for my final I assumed that everything I was studying was right on target. So I was comfortable and ready for the test except the little voice in my head that was telling me something wasn’t right. I needed more feedback from my teacher for reassurance but it wasn’t coming and I had to take the test. So I did and was very comfortable with the answers I provided. I finished the time test with plenty of time to spare and did not feel as though I had messed up any particular questions. I had aced it as far as I was concerned. So next day I get the exam grade and answers back online. Professor doesn’t even have to grade them as it is an automated process and I could have received my results the same day but walked away savoring my solid performance. So when I checked and found I had only received a 90 and then explored the answers I had wrong, I was surprised to see that according to my notes those answers were right in a couple of cases. How could that be? I was never told they were wrong. My anxiety kicks in here as I begin to feel very anxious and unsure of why this happened. I know I did what I was supposed to do but the Professor let me down. I was upset that my grade was not as good as I expected. What could I do to fix it? Why did it happen? Why didn’t I listen to myself? Why did I tell myself to ignore my feelings? Was that right or wrong? Had I done something to the Professor to have her do this to me? Maybe I wasn’t cut out for college!! My mind was just racing with scenarios and scenarios for those scenarios. Eventually it started to slow as I settled on a plan. First, I would contact her and tell her what had happened. My next step would be decided by her reaction to my questions. I didn’t get a solid response and was ignored. So I wrote a letter complaining to her boss at the school. Still no response so then I went to the Dean of Students and VP of the College. They responded saying they would look into it. Let me be clear though that I did not complain about my grade in these letters. My complaint was a lack of professionalism by the Professor and a concern for others taking the course at a future date. I thought we deserved much better from our Professors of Higher Education. So to me in this case I used my anxiety to try and do something good. I know I brought attention at least to something that was wrong. I certainly could press forward with it and may shortly but that isn’t really the point. I know I turned something that could have been a real downer for me into something that was a more positive experience. I had to go through some stress and a racing mind but the end results were not bad as I didn’t freeze and didn’t pout. I didn’t blame the World. I just tried to fix it.

Test B: All of the online tests are timed tests to make sure you do not have time to be looking things up in your text. So that is a great thing and I had no problem with that. However, what did cause me great anxiety was the fact that I could see the time ticking away. It added a lot of anxiety to the testing experience for me. I could see the time going down and know how many questions I had left. I would start to try to calculate how much time per question I had left and then I would try to figure out if I spent too much time earlier in the test or if I would have enough time left to finish or would I have to press really hard. So basically the beginning of a panic attack was setting in for me as I began to feel like I was losing control of the situation. I was not focusing on my test anymore as this began to happen but on the time and what that meant and any scenario that could cause me trouble in the test. Then when I realized what I was doing and that I had just wasted minutes of time because of my anxiety it got worse!! I would then questions myself about what I was doing and then get upset with myself and feel like I set myself up to fail and on and on and on it would go. My test in the mean time was not getting done. My panic attack was costing me here and I knew it but how do you stop one and get back to task? In this case it took some calm deep breaths and some calm reassuring words to myself. I got back to task and finished the test with minutes to spare. That is right, with time to spare!!! My grade was even sold at an 85 which considering what I went through was pretty nice in my eyes. I knew though that before the next exam I would need to figure out a strategy to get past this and make it not happen. So here is what I did and it did work great. I put a post it over the time area before I started the exam. So I couldn’t see it and couldn’t calculate or run scenarios from it. I did struggle a bit though with the fact that I wasn’t sure if I had enough time left. It was tough the first time trying this but became easier over time. So now I am able to just concentrate on the exams. I just trust I have enough time and I always have so I can tell myself exactly that and be okay. I don’t know what would happen if I ran out of time but I will cross that bridge when it happens or else I will get caught up in a big what if and maybe lose the positive solution I have found. So me telling myself that it doesn’t matter yet has worked fine. So cover the time and have at it worked for me.

Test C: Well this one just happened so I am not sure I have a working solution for this yet but here is what happened. In this particular course the tests start out with tasks to complete and then moves on to questions to answer. This is kind of fun actually if you ask me. I like showing that I know how to do something rather than just selecting the proper answer. So I know what is coming after taking a pre-test at the start of each Chapter of the book. I did not though expect some of the things in the pre-test set up to be the same in the actual test and was quickly thrown off guard in my first test. During the test there is a timer you can see but it is in a place that I can’t block out because it is right where the tasks are assigned. So I would be blocking out what I needed to do and thus had little choice but to leave it as is really. I was able to focus on the tasks and get them done and also complete the questions. However, I did feel and experience the beginning of the anxiety build up. I tried to just tell myself from past experience that I would have enough time and that I did not need to run any scenarios right now. I promised myself if I needed to that I could do so but to press on until I felt I needed to. Well that worked and I received 100’s on the first three exams. So that was awesome but in the 4th exam I hit a pothole that shook my balance out of alignment so to speak. After each completed answer in the previous tests you would see the word “completed” pop up in the task bar. I had not made an error so I never experienced that and was unprepared for it. I made a mistake and up popped “incorrect action”. I was thrown off by the fact that I had gotten something wrong. How did I do that and why? So immediately I get sweaty palms and start feeling very nervous and scared. In the task part of the exam you get a few chances before it moves on. So I thought for a moment and tried what I thought was right and it said “incorrect action’. I was starting to ramp up as now I was focusing on what had I done wrong and searching on what I may need to do to make it right and also watching the clock tick. So I am starting to get lost and know this isn’t a good thing. I try again and again wrong. It moves on but I am not ready to move on. I got it wrong and I want to get it right. I don’t care what the next question is as I want to know what the answer is to the previous question. If you are going to tell me wrong then tell what is right!! My mind is racing and searching for that answer. I know I need to move on as I see the time ticking. Time is running out and here I am thinking about something that doesn’t matter anymore for this test. I couldn’t shake it though. I got it wrong and I want to fix it, get it right. Tell me what I did wrong so I can make it right at least for next time. So finally I sort of focus on the task at hand and on the first try, “incorrect action”. I am panicking now and shaking, I am wishing someone was around just so I could vent or something. Find a comfort zone to get back on track. Nobody was here though except my cats and they could care less. So I tell myself to focus, calm down, still more work to be done. I was shaken because I was unprepared by what happened. It had not crossed my mind and I therefore could not prepare myself to react to it. So now it was all just on the fly and I just don’t like that for many things at all. I focused and got it right on the next try. I move but struggle greatly for the rest of the exam because of my earlier stumble. I doubt my answers and question my answers. I end up with a 70 for the exam. My confidence is now shaken and I am unsure how to prepare for my next exam. Can I get past the “incorrect action” when it comes up? Can I tell myself that I can find the answer after the test? That I don’t need it right now and that I simply got it wrong. How do I do that? Can I make it work? How do I plan time wise on the test for any that I might get wrong? If I get it wrong and get a couple tries to get it right or wrong for good, how much time am I eating up? What does that do to the rest of my exam? Now that I received a 70 on the exam what do I need to do to repair my grade? I can’t let myself mess up again so I need to find a solution. I realize that I am now upping the ante for the next test and adding so much pressure on myself. The problem is that I do not know how to not ramp up and to take the pressure off. I have it instilled in me to be right, to do my best and if I get something wrong to fix it and know it for next time. So I have now made the next test more than just a test. It is now more than one of 12 exams for the class. It is now “THE” exam. Nothing before and nothing after matters right now except that exam. I do not have a solution and was up all night trying to find one. I didn’t find one as each scenario seemed to have a hole that I couldn’t completely close no matter how remote. So now I will think and think to try and find a solution. The spin cycle has begun now and soon it will be a wild ride for me. How do I accept that I will be told I am wrong right there and have no way to fix it? No way to repair it. I know I will want to fix it.

So there are a few examples of success with tests and one glaring example of a struggle which I continue with right now. Not everything works for everyone and that is for sure but I do hope that you will try things to find a solution that works for you. There is a way to be able to complete exams and you just need to find what it is for you. I can do it and so can you.