Tumbledown: A Story of Almost

Tumbledown: A Story of Almost
 
 
Tumbledown Mountain near Weld Maine is said to hold a jewel of a lake on top of the mountain plus fantastic views of Maine’s other mountains, woods, lakes, and rivers. A challenging hike was sure to be had as I choose to take on the mountain. Listed in the Maine Mountain Guide as a strenuous hike to the 3090ft peak and certainly not in the beginner category, I decided still took take myself on the most challenging of its trails. One straight up the mountain with no twisting around to get there but up I would go. I fell short of the pond and the summit. I almost made it there as I was only about ¼ mile from the pond. Doesn’t sound far but straight up over boulders it is a long ways. So I almost made it…… but why almost?

Did I fail myself? Did I come up short by not making it to the top? Did I set myself up for that result? I honestly could go on and on with those type of thoughts and questions. They used to be me for such a long time. Jaded glasses are what I looked through to see everything in the World. I have taken them off for good. This would have been a huge set back for me and my progress would have been stopped. Not now…

So what happened? Well, I decided yesterday I would attempt Tumbledown today and really didn’t do any packing or planning till today. So this morning when a few things came up and I had to rush it kind of set me off on the wrong foot. I thought a few times about just taking a closer mountain and not going to Tumbledown. I decided though that I wanted to face it and go for it. I had a breakfast that was likely to light for this journey. V-8 juice, and sandwich of turkey bacon, flax seed bread, egg white. Not exactly the breakfast of Champion hikers. So I headed there over two hours later than I had planned. So already off of the target as instead of reaching the mountain in the morning, I would now reach it just after noon time and would be hiking during the hottest part of the day, again a bad choice on my part for such a tough hike like this one. I also wore a windbreaker on the trail, another bad idea. I should have hiked as normal and then added the windbreaker if it was cool. Eighty degrees and too much clothing was a mistake. So was no lunch other than a banana and a power bar. I also did not remember to fill my water before I left home and thus my camel pak was of little use to me. I had bought water and left it in the truck for a nice cool treat upon my return. It turns out I needed it on the trail!! A few mistakes and bad timing set me up to have a battle from the get go on this hike which was just poor planning on my part. Instead of challenging my mind and the reasoning I should have just listened to it and done a closer hike. I didn’t though and that is that for this hike.

As the trail went on and on, upward and ever steepening with seemingly each step of the ascent I started to sweat and soon was soaked with sweat dripping off of me. I had little water to replace what I was losing and we all know that can lead to trouble quickly. So was I flirting with dehydration? There was a pristine pond at the top if I was in dire need of water. However the minutes became a half hour, hour, hour and half of hiking with each half hour bring a steeper trail until near the end it was going up the side near a waterfall and between boulders. I was close to the top and I know that, real close in fact less than the ¼ mile likely. However, my legs were tiring with each step more from the lack of water or food than the fitness of my body. I asked my body to do something and unfairly I had not prepared it for what I asked. So the time was ticking and I told myself that I could make, went further, battled with my anxiety as I became more weary each step. My blood sugar was also likely taking its own Tumbledown and I did not have anything but a power bar to raise it up and my test kit, in the Explorer. So that was now also in my head and my doubts had begun to grow bigger. I decided to listen and turn around. Not push myself over the edge. This was not the place to test how far I could go. I was alone and quite honestly not an experienced enough hiker to make the judgment call of going forward. I made what I deemed the safe call and turned back. Short of the end goal for sure but not short in so many other ways. I knew I was six miles in on a logging road, alone, hungry, tired, and deep into the hike. Not a place to run out of steam. So of course my anxiety is having a field day as it runs through all the possible problems I will now encounter on my way back down the mountain. From bears, to twisted ankles, to broken arms, to passing out, and many other fun things that I was positive would happen. This was an anxiety attack in full bloom on a damn mountain trial!!! There was nobody to ask to set me straight, no quick way home, no quick way even to the Explorer. I had to go back the way I came up and while it is certainly easier than climbing up it isn’t really safer as one false placement of the foot and well, you Tumbledown.  So festering was aloud for the attack. I felt out of control but slowly regained control. How did I do that?

Well, I thought positively and picked out the successes of the day. Slowly with each new thought my attack eased and my stomach pains eased as well. I had decided to go here even when it would have been easier to not do this today. I drove 2 hours to a place I had never been and wasn’t a place with signs to get to either. I had walked deep in the woods and overcome my fears on doing just that. I was not fearful until the attack happened. I made it a long ways before having trouble that most people would not have been able to get that far on what little I had in my system. I battled my attack and found a way to ease it. I didn’t make it to the top of Tumbledown but I still feel like I made it to the top of my mountain!!

I will be going back to Tumbledown this summer!!! I will make it to the top and will show you the pictures!!