Tumbledown: A story of success.

Tumbledown: A story of success.

It was some 40 days ago that I had tried to ascend Tumbledown Mountain and had to turn around short of the summit. I had completed the two plus hour drive into a place I had never been. I had walked a trail alone and had reached a height of near 2500 feet. I lost the trail, was out of water, and lost my nerve. With each pause on that trip my mind began to wander and I began to question myself. Soon my desire and conviction to summit on that day faded. It was replaced by fear. The fear of being dehydrated, the fear of cramping, the fear of injury, the fear of animals, the fear of a night in the woods alone, and the fear of the imagination. It all began to replace the thoughts of making Tumbledown a story of success the first time. Yes, I made the smart decision by going back down the mountain. I would live to return another day. The demons would taunt me on my way back to Portland. I told all of you of the victories for me of that day. I meant them and felt them. In time though, those victories seemed shallow and I knew Tumbledown still called me. I told you I would return and I would make it. I knew that but the demons in my mind told I wouldn’t and that I couldn’t. I was not in shape enough to do this and that I would fail again or a million other things. I tried to ignore the call of the mountain but it only became stronger. I tried to find a partner to go with me but none was to be had for this trip. Fate had decided I would do this alone and that I would succeed or not on my own. It finally got to the point of restless nights. My mind was in a battle between the forces of good and evil. Good coach and bad coach. Inspirational and dysfunctional. A battle I had lost many times in my past. What would happen this time?

I awoke from a restless sleep at 6am on Sunday morning, July 30th of 2006. I knew I had to go. I knew the mountain was calling me. The demons told me otherwise but I ignored them. I packed and rechecked to make sure I miss nothing this time. I had everything and then some. I left for Tumbledown at 7:30 am, demons in tow. The two plus hour trip was only made longer by the self doubt in my head. Finally the tide began to turn as mountains were on the horizon and Portland was a distant dot on the other horizon. My World of torment seemed to be left behind as I neared Tumbledown. It was replaced with positive thoughts and a sense of satisfaction that I was even going again. Soon I left the paved road and was on the dirt road to the trail. I had told myself I would take a different trail but I knew as soon as I hit the dirt road that I would not. I would challenge myself even more by taking the trail that I had gone astray from before. If I was going to do this I was going to do it on that trail. I started out on the trail and decided to keep a steady pace rather than bust all out like I had last time. As I followed the trail I looked at my GPS and saw I was walking right where I had before. I was somehow comforted by that fact. I kept on trucking at my steady pace. Up and up over the rocks strewn on the trail. I walked past the water running down the mountain to feed the brook below Tumbledown. I kept going step after step. This time enjoying the surroundings and sipping water all the way. Up and up till the point where the trail begins to change from strewn rocks to boulders and trees on a steep incline. I wound my way slowly up this incline. Knowing that soon I would come to the point that I had lost the trail and stopped before long. I had my head up determined not to miss the blue blaze on the tree this time around. I soon crossed the stream and now was headed up in a path I knew was new to me and my gps confirmed this to me. I was now beyond my old tracks and making new ones today. I knew the top was near and it would be mine. Energy raced through my veins and I pushed onward, not stopping. My excitement was growing with each new step. Soon the trees parted and the view began to reveal the beautiful scenery to me. I paused to take it all in and then up for the final part of the ascent. I crossed the granite and suddenly there was this beautiful pristine pond in front of me. One of the highest Alpine ponds in New England and the highest I think in Maine. A smile washed over my face as I knew I was here, where I wanted to be. I was almost finished with this ascent. I rested and enjoyed the view as I looked at the three peaks around me. Trying to pick one to summit to complete my journey at the top of the mountain. I choose my destination and was off for it. My demons were now long gone and back in their hiding spot. My legs were tired but my heart was full of strength and I was full of adrenaline, enough to carry me tot his summit. A half hour later I found myself at the top. The pond now looking much smaller to me and the World around me looking oh so vast. I could see for what seemed eternity and I realized right then that I can do anything in this World. If I try and never give up, believe in myself, and just keep trying. I can do it, I can accomplish anything. The World seemed to lay before me on that summit. A World that looked so beautiful to me for the first time. I could see many mountains and valleys which reminded me of life. There are ups and downs we each face. How will you handle yours? It is easier to stay in the valleys. I challenge you to come to the top with me. You have to earn it. The view though from the top, is truly better!!!!

Pictures of this hike are online at my photography site.