Sunflowers
Forgive them for they know no better.
They were not told to be any different.
Not warned of a World so full of changes.
They do their thing the only way they know how.
Never seeming to be afraid.
Always reaching for the bright day.
Rain comes and rain goes.
The sunflower knows this well.
The sun will come again.
They grow so strong.
They grow so tall.
Standing tall, reaching for the sun.
Stretching to the sky.
Opened wide for all to see.
The sunflower grows higher and higher.
Along comes the rain.
Days on end it rains.
The sunflower still stands reaching for the sun.
Along come the winds.
Blowing mightily as they may.
The sunflowers hangs in there tall and proud.
It may bend and sway.
Watch though as it will see another day.
Still reaching for the sun even on the worst days.
Oh sunflower I want to be like you.
I want to learn to stand, to reach for my dreams.
I want to believe the sun will always shine.
I want to shrug off the bad days too.
Bending but never breaking no matter what they do.
Thanks for showing me how to reach into the blue!!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Stumble
Stumble
Sometimes I stumble before I even get to moving. I don’t even need to take a single step or make a single move and I have already stumbled. I already found the stumbling block. I often ask myself how this can happen to me, especially if I know it is going to happen. I feel like I should be able to stop it or find a way around the road block or stumble that is right in front of me. I have tried to find ways around it, but for some reason, on most occasions, I just can’t. I have had some success but I can’t seem to find the magic key to allow me to just zoom on forward. Here are a couple stumbles.
I wanted to hike a mountain called South Moat in Albany, New Hampshire. I had read about the views and the trail. I knew I could handle the typical pre-hike jitters and the anxiety I would feel on the way to the mountain and up the mountain. I had faced these demons before and have made it past them many times now. It isn’t always easy, but I am confident in that if I persevere that I will find my way past them and to the goal of the summit. I know I can and that makes a world of difference. The demons come and the anxiety builds but I can work past it and somehow keep the anxiety just short of an attack. Just short of ruining the momentum to go forward and persevere. So I felt good and ready to hike South Moat until I read about a bear that had been seen there on those trails. I stumbled, but eventually found my way around all of that as you can read in “To Moat or Not to Moat”.
Sometimes though it is like I am frozen in place and I can see everything before me. The goal keeps getting further and further away as it moves from me. I am moving the goal away from me, but I never seem to realize that at the time. I am looking at the pieces or steps to get to that goal and I am adding road blocks to them. Expanding each one and examine it in minute detail. Looking for the flaw and looking for the obstacle that will hold me up. As I do this the goal gets away from me and I am now stuck not being able to see it any longer. I am stuck looking at the mess that is now before me. One steps has now become many steps and I have yet to even move. I am frozen, frozen right in place with anxiety and fear. A panic attack looms usually and there is no short circuiting it. I feel overwhelmed and want to hide but I am frozen. I can’t even hide and must feel the fears. They overwhelm me and I can’t stop it. The World closes around me until I feel like I explode and then I am so tired, so worn out. I just simply retreat to my calm place or curl up in a ball with the World further away from me. Eventually I begin to realize I am going to make it through this event and then I have to find a way to regroup. The questions begin so I can just “clean up” the mess I must have made by having an attack. Did I offend anyone? Did I let anyone down? Did this or did I that? On and on as I go through the process of trying to figure it all out BEFORE I CAN BEGIN AGAIN.
It is kind of funny as I know others who do not have these issues or something similar are likely wondering what the heck I am talking about. However, I know those who know what I mean, really know. How can I explain to you? How can I make you understand? I know I am six foot tall and athletic, intelligent and well rounded, liked by anyone who meets me, and good at what I do. I hear you tell me and sure sometimes I feel it too. However, none of that can even begin to compete with a mind that has triggers that I do not even understand. I know you have so many perfect suggestions of how you would get beyond what I tell you I suffer from and yet it just does not matter. You simply can’t understand me. You can try and I am sure you will but you simply can’t understand me. Do you hear me? I am not sure I want you to even try to understand me. Just accept me and know that I don’t want to let you or anyone down. In part, it is that very fear that stirs some of the anxiety cocktail that is within me. I think of everything rather I want to or not. I don’t have a choice on most things and it is a road I just must go down. You though, you can’t help me. You can’t guide me. You don’t understand me and you know what…. you can’t.
So just be supportive of me and let me be. Do not try to fix me or give me advice. Just tell me you will be there and no matter what you will still be there tomorrow. If there is doubt in your voice or in your heart, I will know. I am very good at reading into things and will see even a hint of things as a sign of things. It is the way that I am.
Sometimes as I am frozen and see the World getting too big for me I wish I could just close my eyes till it went away. Sometimes I wish it would freeze all of me and make me numb. For I seem to feel it all. I feel it all right to my very core and yet I truly wouldn’t change that part of it.
Sometimes I stumble before I even get to moving. I don’t even need to take a single step or make a single move and I have already stumbled. I already found the stumbling block. I often ask myself how this can happen to me, especially if I know it is going to happen. I feel like I should be able to stop it or find a way around the road block or stumble that is right in front of me. I have tried to find ways around it, but for some reason, on most occasions, I just can’t. I have had some success but I can’t seem to find the magic key to allow me to just zoom on forward. Here are a couple stumbles.
I wanted to hike a mountain called South Moat in Albany, New Hampshire. I had read about the views and the trail. I knew I could handle the typical pre-hike jitters and the anxiety I would feel on the way to the mountain and up the mountain. I had faced these demons before and have made it past them many times now. It isn’t always easy, but I am confident in that if I persevere that I will find my way past them and to the goal of the summit. I know I can and that makes a world of difference. The demons come and the anxiety builds but I can work past it and somehow keep the anxiety just short of an attack. Just short of ruining the momentum to go forward and persevere. So I felt good and ready to hike South Moat until I read about a bear that had been seen there on those trails. I stumbled, but eventually found my way around all of that as you can read in “To Moat or Not to Moat”.
Sometimes though it is like I am frozen in place and I can see everything before me. The goal keeps getting further and further away as it moves from me. I am moving the goal away from me, but I never seem to realize that at the time. I am looking at the pieces or steps to get to that goal and I am adding road blocks to them. Expanding each one and examine it in minute detail. Looking for the flaw and looking for the obstacle that will hold me up. As I do this the goal gets away from me and I am now stuck not being able to see it any longer. I am stuck looking at the mess that is now before me. One steps has now become many steps and I have yet to even move. I am frozen, frozen right in place with anxiety and fear. A panic attack looms usually and there is no short circuiting it. I feel overwhelmed and want to hide but I am frozen. I can’t even hide and must feel the fears. They overwhelm me and I can’t stop it. The World closes around me until I feel like I explode and then I am so tired, so worn out. I just simply retreat to my calm place or curl up in a ball with the World further away from me. Eventually I begin to realize I am going to make it through this event and then I have to find a way to regroup. The questions begin so I can just “clean up” the mess I must have made by having an attack. Did I offend anyone? Did I let anyone down? Did this or did I that? On and on as I go through the process of trying to figure it all out BEFORE I CAN BEGIN AGAIN.
It is kind of funny as I know others who do not have these issues or something similar are likely wondering what the heck I am talking about. However, I know those who know what I mean, really know. How can I explain to you? How can I make you understand? I know I am six foot tall and athletic, intelligent and well rounded, liked by anyone who meets me, and good at what I do. I hear you tell me and sure sometimes I feel it too. However, none of that can even begin to compete with a mind that has triggers that I do not even understand. I know you have so many perfect suggestions of how you would get beyond what I tell you I suffer from and yet it just does not matter. You simply can’t understand me. You can try and I am sure you will but you simply can’t understand me. Do you hear me? I am not sure I want you to even try to understand me. Just accept me and know that I don’t want to let you or anyone down. In part, it is that very fear that stirs some of the anxiety cocktail that is within me. I think of everything rather I want to or not. I don’t have a choice on most things and it is a road I just must go down. You though, you can’t help me. You can’t guide me. You don’t understand me and you know what…. you can’t.
So just be supportive of me and let me be. Do not try to fix me or give me advice. Just tell me you will be there and no matter what you will still be there tomorrow. If there is doubt in your voice or in your heart, I will know. I am very good at reading into things and will see even a hint of things as a sign of things. It is the way that I am.
Sometimes as I am frozen and see the World getting too big for me I wish I could just close my eyes till it went away. Sometimes I wish it would freeze all of me and make me numb. For I seem to feel it all. I feel it all right to my very core and yet I truly wouldn’t change that part of it.
Strings
Strings
The strings aren’t always visible.
They are there though always.
Someone has control of them.
Someone is pulling them.
Is it you that is in control?
Do you hold your own strings?
Or have you lost them.
Now somebody else controls them.
Do they pull at your heart?
Lead you their way?
How does it feel to be played?
They are your master.
The puppet master to your very heart.
You know it but can’t control it.
Not now as they have the strings.
They decide how far you can fall.
They decide when and how to pull.
Your strings are in their control.
Your heart is not of your control.
How does that feel?
Cause I know you know.
The puppet master pulls your strings.
Pulls them to his hearts content!!
The strings aren’t always visible.
They are there though always.
Someone has control of them.
Someone is pulling them.
Is it you that is in control?
Do you hold your own strings?
Or have you lost them.
Now somebody else controls them.
Do they pull at your heart?
Lead you their way?
How does it feel to be played?
They are your master.
The puppet master to your very heart.
You know it but can’t control it.
Not now as they have the strings.
They decide how far you can fall.
They decide when and how to pull.
Your strings are in their control.
Your heart is not of your control.
How does that feel?
Cause I know you know.
The puppet master pulls your strings.
Pulls them to his hearts content!!
Stepping Away
Stepping Away
What did you expect from me?
What did you want from me?
You knew you hurt me deep inside.
So don’t claim surprise.
Every step I take away from you.
Is a step further from the pain.
Further from the pain.
The pain that brought me to my knees.
Kept me down for weeks with tear filed eyes.
A heart broken in two by you.
So I walk away today.
Every step further away.
Every step the distance grows between the pain and me.
Soon it will be gone and I can smile again.
See the sun rise and replace the gray skies.
The very gray skies you brought into my life.
So don’t expect from me what you don’t deserve.
I can’t give you anymore what you aren’t willing to give me.
Time to walk away.
Time to call it a day.
Search for the cure to my ills.
Search for the heart that matches mine.
Watch me walk if you want too.
But let me walk cause I need too.
Step after step right away from you.
Away from the pain and the rain.
Headed for a better day where the sun will rise again.
Walking away from the pain.
The pain from you.
Every step I take I breathe a little easier.
Every step I take I hurt a little less too.
Gonna keep on stepping away from you.
Every step away is another step from heartbreak.
I won’t be looking back for you.
Stepping away.
What did you expect from me?
What did you want from me?
You knew you hurt me deep inside.
So don’t claim surprise.
Every step I take away from you.
Is a step further from the pain.
Further from the pain.
The pain that brought me to my knees.
Kept me down for weeks with tear filed eyes.
A heart broken in two by you.
So I walk away today.
Every step further away.
Every step the distance grows between the pain and me.
Soon it will be gone and I can smile again.
See the sun rise and replace the gray skies.
The very gray skies you brought into my life.
So don’t expect from me what you don’t deserve.
I can’t give you anymore what you aren’t willing to give me.
Time to walk away.
Time to call it a day.
Search for the cure to my ills.
Search for the heart that matches mine.
Watch me walk if you want too.
But let me walk cause I need too.
Step after step right away from you.
Away from the pain and the rain.
Headed for a better day where the sun will rise again.
Walking away from the pain.
The pain from you.
Every step I take I breathe a little easier.
Every step I take I hurt a little less too.
Gonna keep on stepping away from you.
Every step away is another step from heartbreak.
I won’t be looking back for you.
Stepping away.
Stayin
Stayin
I see you and my heart races.
My mind chases you.
My soul belongs to you.
I know there is a danger there.
I know there is a danger there.
A danger from being so in love with you.
I should just run away.
I should head the other way.
Just run and never look back.
It sound so easy to get away from you.
So easy to just go my own way.
Cause you equal pain for me.
The pleasure is so short and sweet.
But I am hooked on you.
I can’t get away.
I find myself stayin.
Stayin when I should run away.
You have my heart in your hands.
My soul is yours and my love.
My love is yours to lose.
I should run.
I should run from you.
That sweet kiss only leads to me missing you.
The pain comes when you are gone.
I know you will be back but maybe…
Maybe I can run away while you are gone.
Stay away from those poison lips.
Away from those tempting eyes.
I should run from you.
I should run from you.
But I just can’t seem to get moving.
Not a single step am I able to take.
I am just head over heals for you.
And I just don’t know why.
I feel the pain.
I know heartache waits
but I just go on loving you.
Stayin.
Yes, stayin when I should run.
Stayin because I am in love with you.
Stayin right here waitin for you.
I see you and my heart races.
My mind chases you.
My soul belongs to you.
I know there is a danger there.
I know there is a danger there.
A danger from being so in love with you.
I should just run away.
I should head the other way.
Just run and never look back.
It sound so easy to get away from you.
So easy to just go my own way.
Cause you equal pain for me.
The pleasure is so short and sweet.
But I am hooked on you.
I can’t get away.
I find myself stayin.
Stayin when I should run away.
You have my heart in your hands.
My soul is yours and my love.
My love is yours to lose.
I should run.
I should run from you.
That sweet kiss only leads to me missing you.
The pain comes when you are gone.
I know you will be back but maybe…
Maybe I can run away while you are gone.
Stay away from those poison lips.
Away from those tempting eyes.
I should run from you.
I should run from you.
But I just can’t seem to get moving.
Not a single step am I able to take.
I am just head over heals for you.
And I just don’t know why.
I feel the pain.
I know heartache waits
but I just go on loving you.
Stayin.
Yes, stayin when I should run.
Stayin because I am in love with you.
Stayin right here waitin for you.
Spinning in place
Spinning in place
Spinning my wheels.
Sitting in the same place
Wanting to go.
To go anywhere.
Just to move
To be free
To feel free
I am stuck here
Right here.
I just don’t know why.
How do I move again?
Just do it right?
Well wrong ain’t right.
No not for me.
I am spinning.
Spinning in place.
Spinning my wheels.
Sitting in the same place
Wanting to go.
To go anywhere.
Just to move
To be free
To feel free
I am stuck here
Right here.
I just don’t know why.
How do I move again?
Just do it right?
Well wrong ain’t right.
No not for me.
I am spinning.
Spinning in place.
Spinning
Spinning
I woke up this morning and knew I shoulda went back to sleep.
Never should have rolled out of bed.
I knew the moment I opened my eyes that it was the wrong side.
No matter what it couldn’t be the right side.
I shoulda just rolled right back over
Closed my eyes and let the day go on.
It was along night for sure and I was hell bent on seeing it through.
I didn’t care about the next morning even though was coming towards me.
They just kept going down and there was always another to found.
I was the man of the hour and toast of the show.
Or maybe I was the roast but I didn’t care as long as there was another.
I just kept putting them away. I got room for another.
Then party ended and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
So I found my way home and found another.
Then I found my bed and she was spinning.
One foot on the floor to hold her still.
Cause I wasn’t about to lose my thrill.
Thinking all was fine I decided to lift my anchor.
Whoops, whoops, around and around she goes.
She needs to stop before I blow!!!
Drop the anchor and before I know it she slows again.
My World goes dark and fast asleep I am.
I sleep so well now that she sleeps too.
And soon the morning comes.
I woke up this morning and knew I shoulda went back to sleep.
Never should have rolled out of bed.
I knew the moment I opened my eyes that it was the wrong side.
No matter what it couldn’t be the right side.
I shoulda just rolled right back over
Closed my eyes and let the day go on.
I woke up this morning and knew I shoulda went back to sleep.
Never should have rolled out of bed.
I knew the moment I opened my eyes that it was the wrong side.
No matter what it couldn’t be the right side.
I shoulda just rolled right back over
Closed my eyes and let the day go on.
It was along night for sure and I was hell bent on seeing it through.
I didn’t care about the next morning even though was coming towards me.
They just kept going down and there was always another to found.
I was the man of the hour and toast of the show.
Or maybe I was the roast but I didn’t care as long as there was another.
I just kept putting them away. I got room for another.
Then party ended and I wasn’t ready to let it go.
So I found my way home and found another.
Then I found my bed and she was spinning.
One foot on the floor to hold her still.
Cause I wasn’t about to lose my thrill.
Thinking all was fine I decided to lift my anchor.
Whoops, whoops, around and around she goes.
She needs to stop before I blow!!!
Drop the anchor and before I know it she slows again.
My World goes dark and fast asleep I am.
I sleep so well now that she sleeps too.
And soon the morning comes.
I woke up this morning and knew I shoulda went back to sleep.
Never should have rolled out of bed.
I knew the moment I opened my eyes that it was the wrong side.
No matter what it couldn’t be the right side.
I shoulda just rolled right back over
Closed my eyes and let the day go on.
Spin with me
Spin with me
I am spinning like a top.
Round and round.
Just trying not to fall down.
Round and round I spin.
Life goes one way and I go the other.
Wow, there it goes again.
Life is flying right on by me.
Slow down World, spin my way.
No, not going to spin my way.
Your way is the only way.
World goes on and on.
Stop my spin and turn it around.
I can do it and so can you.
Life goes on but you got spun right around.
I did too!!
Spun the wrong way for way too long.
Now though I spin with the World.
Same speed and it looks so bright.
Not blurry but a wonderful sight.
Not trying to catch up anymore.
Just keeping pace with time.
Spinning with the World.
Right on time.
Darkness gone, left on the reverse.
Going forward now and it doesn’t hurt.
The World will rip you apart if spin opposite.
Spin and win baby.
Spin with me.
Look at me go.
Spinning like a top!!!
Round and round I go.
Happy and free, never to stop!!
Spin with me.
Spin with me.
I am spinning like a top.
Round and round.
Just trying not to fall down.
Round and round I spin.
Life goes one way and I go the other.
Wow, there it goes again.
Life is flying right on by me.
Slow down World, spin my way.
No, not going to spin my way.
Your way is the only way.
World goes on and on.
Stop my spin and turn it around.
I can do it and so can you.
Life goes on but you got spun right around.
I did too!!
Spun the wrong way for way too long.
Now though I spin with the World.
Same speed and it looks so bright.
Not blurry but a wonderful sight.
Not trying to catch up anymore.
Just keeping pace with time.
Spinning with the World.
Right on time.
Darkness gone, left on the reverse.
Going forward now and it doesn’t hurt.
The World will rip you apart if spin opposite.
Spin and win baby.
Spin with me.
Look at me go.
Spinning like a top!!!
Round and round I go.
Happy and free, never to stop!!
Spin with me.
Spin with me.
spin
Spin
Some days I just want to give up.
Give in to my demons.
To just break down and cry.
Some days I just want to fight on.
Draw strength for deep within.
To just soldier on and on.
How do I know what tomorrow brings?
Up or down.
I am what I am.
You can’t shape me.
You can’t shape the day.
The World spins its’ way.
Some days I just want.
Some days I just need.
Some days I just dream.
Everyday I just spin too.
Just like you.
Some days I just want to give up.
Give in to my demons.
To just break down and cry.
Some days I just want to fight on.
Draw strength for deep within.
To just soldier on and on.
How do I know what tomorrow brings?
Up or down.
I am what I am.
You can’t shape me.
You can’t shape the day.
The World spins its’ way.
Some days I just want.
Some days I just need.
Some days I just dream.
Everyday I just spin too.
Just like you.
Soul mate
Soul mate
Here on Earth is where we are for now
We are but flesh and blood here
A living organism with a soul inside
Wandering through time with a great plan
Some plan as man falters each day here on Earth.
How many have come and gone in times past?
How many will come and go in the future?
Man’s plans are not for this Earth.
I am a man, a human.
Touch me, I am real.
Blood flows through me.
My flesh is warm.
I though, like the rest of man.
Am just a shell really.
An empty vessel on a lonely journey.
Searching for a companion to join me.
To fill my hull to the brim.
Touch my soul and make me whole!!
I ask of you my dear soul mate.
Where are you now? Here on Earth?
My body is my search vessel.
Flesh and blood to find you
Also flesh and blood
Souls to meet for all of time.
Not to pass like two ships in the night.
See me, look for me!!!
I look for you but don’t see you.
Where are you my ship at night?
Don’t pass me by as we may never
Pass this way again.
Grab me now and hold on tight.
Touch my soul and let’s sail tonight.
Forever we will be dear soul mate
On this Earth or in Heaven.
We will be together.
So let’s make the effort to find out Heaven.
I fear leaving here without you.
Leaving here an empty vessel.
Shedding the flesh and blood
To be alone on my journey.
Complete me and let me complete you.
Find me, I search for you too.
Touch my soul and fulfill me.
Let us sail into eternity!!!
Here on Earth is where we are for now
We are but flesh and blood here
A living organism with a soul inside
Wandering through time with a great plan
Some plan as man falters each day here on Earth.
How many have come and gone in times past?
How many will come and go in the future?
Man’s plans are not for this Earth.
I am a man, a human.
Touch me, I am real.
Blood flows through me.
My flesh is warm.
I though, like the rest of man.
Am just a shell really.
An empty vessel on a lonely journey.
Searching for a companion to join me.
To fill my hull to the brim.
Touch my soul and make me whole!!
I ask of you my dear soul mate.
Where are you now? Here on Earth?
My body is my search vessel.
Flesh and blood to find you
Also flesh and blood
Souls to meet for all of time.
Not to pass like two ships in the night.
See me, look for me!!!
I look for you but don’t see you.
Where are you my ship at night?
Don’t pass me by as we may never
Pass this way again.
Grab me now and hold on tight.
Touch my soul and let’s sail tonight.
Forever we will be dear soul mate
On this Earth or in Heaven.
We will be together.
So let’s make the effort to find out Heaven.
I fear leaving here without you.
Leaving here an empty vessel.
Shedding the flesh and blood
To be alone on my journey.
Complete me and let me complete you.
Find me, I search for you too.
Touch my soul and fulfill me.
Let us sail into eternity!!!
Some men are asses
Some men are asses
Men, well, we are what we are.
And what is it that we are?
Well some of us are romantic.
Some are couch potatoes.
Some are lovers.
Some are haters.
Some are players.
In the end we are men.
We like to eat.
We like to drink.
We aren’t always neat.
We are what we are, men.
Yes, we know, we know.
Men can be asses.
I admit it too.
I have been an ass too.
Good days and bad years.
Men are men.
Let us be us.
We will let you be you.
Just sex us up and all will be good too.
Feed us and maybe bath us.
Cloth us and we will follow.
Like a puppy in love.
Don’t sex us up .
Don’t feed us or cloth us.
We may still follow.
It just won’t be thee!!
Asses we are and asses we will be.
Someday though you will see.
We can be your everything too.
Not all of us stay asses forever.
Some of us become assets over time.
Asses to assets is what we do.
So remember we love you too.
Men, well, we are what we are.
And what is it that we are?
Well some of us are romantic.
Some are couch potatoes.
Some are lovers.
Some are haters.
Some are players.
In the end we are men.
We like to eat.
We like to drink.
We aren’t always neat.
We are what we are, men.
Yes, we know, we know.
Men can be asses.
I admit it too.
I have been an ass too.
Good days and bad years.
Men are men.
Let us be us.
We will let you be you.
Just sex us up and all will be good too.
Feed us and maybe bath us.
Cloth us and we will follow.
Like a puppy in love.
Don’t sex us up .
Don’t feed us or cloth us.
We may still follow.
It just won’t be thee!!
Asses we are and asses we will be.
Someday though you will see.
We can be your everything too.
Not all of us stay asses forever.
Some of us become assets over time.
Asses to assets is what we do.
So remember we love you too.
Society Rules
Society Rules
Society sets the rules
You have to play the game
Or be cast outside
Sent to the sidelines
Not invited to play
If you don’t play their way
Society rules the roost
And you are toast
You must do this and that
Not that and this
Got it, this way, our way.
No , no not your way.
Your way just isn’t right.
Our way is the chosen way.
The path to the promised lands.
Follow us cause we set the pace.
This is our place.
Society rules this roost.
Come on now and play.
Just have to play our way.
Follow our rules
And all will be okay.
Come on in and be like us
We are normal.
Normal? You say!!!
I aint normal
Society, you think you decide what is normal.
Hello, no way, not for me, normal is me.
You must do this and that
Not that and this
Got it, this way, our way.
No , no not your way.
Take your rules and your game.
I will play my way and rule my roost.
I walk my way
I play my way.
Be yourself!!
Play your way.
Society sets the rules
You have to play the game
Or be cast outside
Sent to the sidelines
Not invited to play
If you don’t play their way
Society rules the roost
And you are toast
You must do this and that
Not that and this
Got it, this way, our way.
No , no not your way.
Your way just isn’t right.
Our way is the chosen way.
The path to the promised lands.
Follow us cause we set the pace.
This is our place.
Society rules this roost.
Come on now and play.
Just have to play our way.
Follow our rules
And all will be okay.
Come on in and be like us
We are normal.
Normal? You say!!!
I aint normal
Society, you think you decide what is normal.
Hello, no way, not for me, normal is me.
You must do this and that
Not that and this
Got it, this way, our way.
No , no not your way.
Take your rules and your game.
I will play my way and rule my roost.
I walk my way
I play my way.
Be yourself!!
Play your way.
So you wanna walk
So you wanna walk
You can say what you want.
Call it how you see it.
Just remember though.
The grass ain’t always greener.
Tell me how it should be.
They way I should walk
The path I should follow.
Always telling me how easy it should be.
So you wanna walk?
Then walk in my shoes.
See how they fit on you.
Come on now walk!
How you liking my shoes now?
No so easy from this side of the path.
Come on now pick up the pace.
Walk the walk in my shoes.
Let’s go, let’s go. Move on and on.
Remember you said it was so easy.
So why you struggling now too?
While you walkin in my shoes.
Sometimes they feel like they made of led.
Sometimes like they sinking in quicksand.
Like I am always headed uphill.
Walkin in my shoes ain’t easy.
So you wanna walk?
Then walk in my shoes.
See how they fit on you.
Come on now walk!
So come on now.
You ain’t walkin.
You crawlin.
Liking my shoes?
What is your advice now?
Keep on walking?
How’s the grass?
Still greener for you?
I like watchin you.
Yes,watchin you.
Try to walk, walk.
In my shoes.
I follow my path!!!
It is mine to choose.
See you at the finish line.
If ya make it in my shoes.
I know it ain’t easy to walk.
Not in my shoes.
It isn’t a simple path to follow.
No not in these shoes.
Come on!!! Come on Now!!!
Get off my back.
You can’t walk in my shoes.
Give em back and get on your own path.
These are my shoes!!!!
You can say what you want.
Call it how you see it.
Just remember though.
The grass ain’t always greener.
Tell me how it should be.
They way I should walk
The path I should follow.
Always telling me how easy it should be.
So you wanna walk?
Then walk in my shoes.
See how they fit on you.
Come on now walk!
How you liking my shoes now?
No so easy from this side of the path.
Come on now pick up the pace.
Walk the walk in my shoes.
Let’s go, let’s go. Move on and on.
Remember you said it was so easy.
So why you struggling now too?
While you walkin in my shoes.
Sometimes they feel like they made of led.
Sometimes like they sinking in quicksand.
Like I am always headed uphill.
Walkin in my shoes ain’t easy.
So you wanna walk?
Then walk in my shoes.
See how they fit on you.
Come on now walk!
So come on now.
You ain’t walkin.
You crawlin.
Liking my shoes?
What is your advice now?
Keep on walking?
How’s the grass?
Still greener for you?
I like watchin you.
Yes,watchin you.
Try to walk, walk.
In my shoes.
I follow my path!!!
It is mine to choose.
See you at the finish line.
If ya make it in my shoes.
I know it ain’t easy to walk.
Not in my shoes.
It isn’t a simple path to follow.
No not in these shoes.
Come on!!! Come on Now!!!
Get off my back.
You can’t walk in my shoes.
Give em back and get on your own path.
These are my shoes!!!!
So you wanna drive the Zamboni
So you wanna drive the Zamboni
So many people and so few boni’s out there to be driven. Thus many of you will never have your dream come true. You won’t be able to drive the zamboni or even be able to take a ride on one. The closest you will come to the dream is the other side of the glass where you can wave to the zamboni as it passes by you. I know you are not waving to the driver but to the machine because that is really where it is at for you.
I though have lived your dream. I have driven the zamboni, ridden on the zamboni, and fixed the zamboni. So I will try to take you on a ride with me now as I reflect the laps of the zamboni for you.
In the morning the Zamboni needs to get woken up so to speak as it gets ready for a busy day ahead. You walk on over and turn on its air basically, its life, by opening up the propane tanks located on the back. They are turned to the closed position at night for safety. So you open them and hear a little noise form the tanks. Then you hop on and start her up, leaving the throttle lever a little low since she is just waking. Then you reach to your right and take the lever to raise the tank and you raise it. Taking the metal pole it was resting on out. At night the tank on the front of the zamboni is raised to let it dry. Now with the pole out of the way you drop the tank down into place. And she is all closed up. So then you grab another lever in the same place and raise the conditioner from its overnight position. Then you slide the zamboni into forward and slowly move it to its daily parking spot over the pit. The pit is the place where you dump the snow. It is grated and thus water is easily pushed through it or falls through it from the zamboni. Now you can turn of the machine. You go pick up and put away the blocks that the conditioner was resting on overnight. Then it is time to get the zam ready for its first ice make of the day. You take the grease gun and hit 12 or so points daily with it to keep the machine running smoothly. Check all fluid levels as well while you are poking around. Then log all the work that you just did so everyone else knows how many hours are on this current blade and when maintenance was last done. Next you move over and take the garden hose and insert it in the wash tank. Turn it on and let it fill with cold water. This water is recycled throughout the day. I would say about 90% of it gets returned each make of the ice. It is used to wash the ice before the water you see coming out of the back of the machine hits the ice. So basically this is picking up any dirt or pieces of debris and sucking it back up into the tank where it gets caught in a basket that you empty. Once this is full you move onto the large water tank which is filled with warm to hot water. There is an ideal temperature but it is rare rinks go to the trouble to make sure it is exactly the proper temp. Close is usually what they shoot for at most public arenas. This is a big tank and the water is not recycled but is left on the ice and is what you see coming out the back of the machine. Often you can get two makes out of one fill but why chance it? The easiest thing is to refill it between each ice make. If you do not have an ice make for hours then it is better to drain the tank and refill near the time for the next make to make sure the water is close to the proper temps. So now our machine is already to go make some ice.
Before we get out there though let’s explain what happens under the machine. The machine does a few things to the ice that you do not see but are very important to having good ice. First, you have the jets of wash water hitting the ice and loosening up and dirt or debris. This water gets sucked back up into a pipe and dropped back into the tank near the top through a basket. If it wasn’t sucked back up then there would be a bunch of debris and dirt in the ice. Plus all the extra water would end up making the zamboni get stuck as the water made slush of the ice the zamboni cuts. Yes, the zamboni cuts the ice. The blade on the zamboni is almost six feet long and varies in width due to sharpening of the blade. This blade is as sharp as a razor. It works very similar as well. When you drag a razor over your face or legs it removes the hair pretty easily if it is sharp and not so well when it is dull When dull you change it and the same is true for the blade at the back of the machine. It gets changed when dull which varies in time. Some rinks go by certain number of hours or days or ice makes or just by feel of the cut to determine when to change the blade. A blade can be changed by two people in as little as ten minutes but usually takes longer if being as careful as you should be with the blade. It could easily cut you severely. So the blade is dragged along the ice under the conditioner at the back of the machine. There is a round handle on the zamboni to the right of the driver which allows him to raise and lower the blade for thickness of the cut or shave of the ice. This varies depending on what is coming on the ice next or what the plan is for ice maintenance. It may need to be thinned in some areas or thickened in others so the driver may even adjust it while he is making the ice. So under the machine all this ice is getting scraped and has to go somewhere. Have you ever seen a snow blower throwing snow? Well the zamboni basically has two snow blower like augers on it. One it horizontal and is in the conditioner just in front of the blade. This is made to collect the snow/ice and move it to the middle as it spins. In the middle is a tube with an auger that goes up the zamboni in the middle of the machine and is often visible in the back as a round tube in front of the driver to the right. This auger throws the snow through an opening at the top into the big tank on the front of the zamboni. So under we have water being put down and sucked up. Ice being cut and sucked up. Also some of this snow and ice becomes slush and is wedged into small cracks in the ice to help smooth it. It does not work on big holes or ruts but helps with small ones. All that goes on where you can’t see it!!!
Okay so it is time to go make the ice. Most rinks give their drivers ten minutes to make the ice. Realistically it would be nice to give them 15 minutes. That does not happen though because time is money and those extra five minutes adds up to hours of rental lost. So you should as a driver take the whole ten minutes to make the ice. It can really be done in like 5 or 6 minutes but you really have not made the ice as much as just poured some water on it. Ten to twelve minutes would give you good ice and then a couple of minutes for the ice to set up and freeze, especially in those cracks would be more towards the ideal.
So we hop on the machine and start her up. We ease the throttle control up and watch the rpm’s raise. We put her in reverse and back towards the open doors to the ice. We pause to make sure there are no skaters on the ice and that any equipment including pucks are now gone. Those could become stuck in the augers and break the zamboni or possibly get thrown through the tank of snow and out the other side of it!! So be wary of those pucks. Okay, all clear. We back onto the ice now to a decent starting position.
Again make sure it is all clear. Make note of which doors are open and which are closed. Now we switch the control to forward. Once we begin we can’t take our foot off of the gas pedal or it will stop. A car would glide or cruise if you did so but the zamboni does not. It stops and that is not a good thing because it is hard to control it on the ice when that happens. So we get our foot comfortable and push. As we move forward we drop the conditioner down behind the machine so it is on the ice and the back of the machine lifts slightly. Now the blade is in contact with the ice. Now we turn on the augers to suck up the ice. As we head toward the boards we begin to turn to come into them at a nice angle. Turn on the board brush which pops out form the side of the machine and helps take and snow build up from along the boards and brush it out into the path of the conditioner. As we approach the boards we reach to our right and turn on the make water, remember the hot water is the make water you see coming out of the back of the machine. We do not turn on the wash water during out board lap. Water builds up quickly around the boards so we leave it off for this initial lap. Too much water can cause the slush to be too much for the zamboni to handle and it can get stuck or the augers can jam up and neither of those are good things. So we are going along the boards now fairly slowly but steadily. We are watching the front left corner of the machine as there is a little wheel there. You try not to have the wheel touch the boards but close. Also watch for doors to make sure you stay off of them. They may look closed but if they are not fully closed you could open them with the machine and end up ramming the door which could cause damage to the zamboni, the door, and maybe people. The board lap requires a lot of focused attention. It is the closest to the people you get and also the closest to the boards you get. Imagine trying to drive your car down the street and staying about an inch or two from the curb. Think you would be pretty focused right? I hope so for your cars sake. So we make one full lap around the boards and when we get back to where we started we pull out from the boards. Turn off and retract the board brush. We pull out the width of the conditioner so there is only a small overlap of what was done and what needs to be done on the left side of the conditioner. Too much over lap and two things are happening. One your are getting to much water under the machine as you travel the already made ice and second you are going to have to make an extra lap if you are to far over as you are not using the space wisely. So now we have just enough space and we are heading for the end of the arena. This time when we hit the red line we turn off the or at the very least turn down the make water as we go behind the red line. Why do we do this? We pass this area each time we come down the ice so it is about too much water. There will be plenty there and we really do not need to add more to it. Now we make our turn and head up the center of the ice or slightly left of center. As we cross the red line we turn the water back on. Now we also turn on the wash water but not the pump yet. We want to make sure the pump has some water to suck up before we turn it on or we could burn out the impeller which is made of rubber and needs water as a lubricant or will break. So now we are looking at a spot on the front of the zamboni and making sure it lines up with the line between made ice and unmade ice. We need to use a guide on the machine because we simply can not see well in front of us. If you stood in front of the zamboni I would not see you unless you walked quite far out in front of the machine. I also cannot see anything on the right side of the machine at all. So there are big blind spots when driving the machine. It would be terrible in a car but on the ice it is okay as it is a controlled environment. The guide is different for each person and takes you a little while to find a spot that works for you. This again is to make the most out of each pass up and down the ice. As little overlap as you can. So now we are approaching the far blue line and it is time to turn on the pump. So flick the switch and the water starts to get sucked up. All the water levers can be opened to different rates so those are often changed during each make several times. As we approach the end red line we slow and then turn off the make water again. And we turn it back on as we go back up ice. We leave the wash water on during the make though as it is being sucked up by the pump. So we repeat this till we have one lap left and then we need to get busy with other things again as we prepare to finish our make. Ofcourse we had time during those laps to look in the stands and wave or whatever. There were things to do but not nearly as much as when you are starting and ending. Only if things go wrong can the middle of the make be an issue. So have through our last roughly and we turn off the wash water but leave the pump on for now. This will suck up any extra water so we do not leave a big puddle when we lift the conditioner at the end. So now we finish the lap and are headed for the open doors. We turn the make water down to real low, now off though or it will leave a noticeable path on the ice. So we slow as we near the doors. Off goes the pump, off goes the make water, off goes both of the augers, up comes the conditioner and off the ice we go. Now our help is clearing the little pile of slush we left behind.
We pull the machine to a spot in front of the pit. We check to make sure the pit is open and then we raise the dump tank which is now full of snow and ice. It slides out and with any skill you hit it right on. If not so skilled then time to close the tank, turn off the machine and get a shovel to push the snow into the pit. Then close the pit and pull the machine into a spot over the pit. Turn off the machine. Remove the covers from the back of the conditioner and wash out the slush in the augers. Not everyone does it but it does eliminate a possible problem if the slush freezes and is stuck there for the next make. Replace the covers. Make any notations in the log book, such as time of make and how much ice was in the tank. Then check the wash water tank and basket. Fill and clean if needed. Then I always put the hose in the machine for the make water to remind myself that it needed some before I went out again.
That is a basic ice make and beginning of a day on the machine. I will tell you driving the machine can be a lot of fun when you get the hang out of it and making a nice sheet of ice is a great feeling. Things can go wrong and for those times you need to be ready but thankfully they are very rare. I hope this helped with your dream of driving the zamboni. Anyone can learn if given the proper setting, time, and patience.
So many people and so few boni’s out there to be driven. Thus many of you will never have your dream come true. You won’t be able to drive the zamboni or even be able to take a ride on one. The closest you will come to the dream is the other side of the glass where you can wave to the zamboni as it passes by you. I know you are not waving to the driver but to the machine because that is really where it is at for you.
I though have lived your dream. I have driven the zamboni, ridden on the zamboni, and fixed the zamboni. So I will try to take you on a ride with me now as I reflect the laps of the zamboni for you.
In the morning the Zamboni needs to get woken up so to speak as it gets ready for a busy day ahead. You walk on over and turn on its air basically, its life, by opening up the propane tanks located on the back. They are turned to the closed position at night for safety. So you open them and hear a little noise form the tanks. Then you hop on and start her up, leaving the throttle lever a little low since she is just waking. Then you reach to your right and take the lever to raise the tank and you raise it. Taking the metal pole it was resting on out. At night the tank on the front of the zamboni is raised to let it dry. Now with the pole out of the way you drop the tank down into place. And she is all closed up. So then you grab another lever in the same place and raise the conditioner from its overnight position. Then you slide the zamboni into forward and slowly move it to its daily parking spot over the pit. The pit is the place where you dump the snow. It is grated and thus water is easily pushed through it or falls through it from the zamboni. Now you can turn of the machine. You go pick up and put away the blocks that the conditioner was resting on overnight. Then it is time to get the zam ready for its first ice make of the day. You take the grease gun and hit 12 or so points daily with it to keep the machine running smoothly. Check all fluid levels as well while you are poking around. Then log all the work that you just did so everyone else knows how many hours are on this current blade and when maintenance was last done. Next you move over and take the garden hose and insert it in the wash tank. Turn it on and let it fill with cold water. This water is recycled throughout the day. I would say about 90% of it gets returned each make of the ice. It is used to wash the ice before the water you see coming out of the back of the machine hits the ice. So basically this is picking up any dirt or pieces of debris and sucking it back up into the tank where it gets caught in a basket that you empty. Once this is full you move onto the large water tank which is filled with warm to hot water. There is an ideal temperature but it is rare rinks go to the trouble to make sure it is exactly the proper temp. Close is usually what they shoot for at most public arenas. This is a big tank and the water is not recycled but is left on the ice and is what you see coming out the back of the machine. Often you can get two makes out of one fill but why chance it? The easiest thing is to refill it between each ice make. If you do not have an ice make for hours then it is better to drain the tank and refill near the time for the next make to make sure the water is close to the proper temps. So now our machine is already to go make some ice.
Before we get out there though let’s explain what happens under the machine. The machine does a few things to the ice that you do not see but are very important to having good ice. First, you have the jets of wash water hitting the ice and loosening up and dirt or debris. This water gets sucked back up into a pipe and dropped back into the tank near the top through a basket. If it wasn’t sucked back up then there would be a bunch of debris and dirt in the ice. Plus all the extra water would end up making the zamboni get stuck as the water made slush of the ice the zamboni cuts. Yes, the zamboni cuts the ice. The blade on the zamboni is almost six feet long and varies in width due to sharpening of the blade. This blade is as sharp as a razor. It works very similar as well. When you drag a razor over your face or legs it removes the hair pretty easily if it is sharp and not so well when it is dull When dull you change it and the same is true for the blade at the back of the machine. It gets changed when dull which varies in time. Some rinks go by certain number of hours or days or ice makes or just by feel of the cut to determine when to change the blade. A blade can be changed by two people in as little as ten minutes but usually takes longer if being as careful as you should be with the blade. It could easily cut you severely. So the blade is dragged along the ice under the conditioner at the back of the machine. There is a round handle on the zamboni to the right of the driver which allows him to raise and lower the blade for thickness of the cut or shave of the ice. This varies depending on what is coming on the ice next or what the plan is for ice maintenance. It may need to be thinned in some areas or thickened in others so the driver may even adjust it while he is making the ice. So under the machine all this ice is getting scraped and has to go somewhere. Have you ever seen a snow blower throwing snow? Well the zamboni basically has two snow blower like augers on it. One it horizontal and is in the conditioner just in front of the blade. This is made to collect the snow/ice and move it to the middle as it spins. In the middle is a tube with an auger that goes up the zamboni in the middle of the machine and is often visible in the back as a round tube in front of the driver to the right. This auger throws the snow through an opening at the top into the big tank on the front of the zamboni. So under we have water being put down and sucked up. Ice being cut and sucked up. Also some of this snow and ice becomes slush and is wedged into small cracks in the ice to help smooth it. It does not work on big holes or ruts but helps with small ones. All that goes on where you can’t see it!!!
Okay so it is time to go make the ice. Most rinks give their drivers ten minutes to make the ice. Realistically it would be nice to give them 15 minutes. That does not happen though because time is money and those extra five minutes adds up to hours of rental lost. So you should as a driver take the whole ten minutes to make the ice. It can really be done in like 5 or 6 minutes but you really have not made the ice as much as just poured some water on it. Ten to twelve minutes would give you good ice and then a couple of minutes for the ice to set up and freeze, especially in those cracks would be more towards the ideal.
So we hop on the machine and start her up. We ease the throttle control up and watch the rpm’s raise. We put her in reverse and back towards the open doors to the ice. We pause to make sure there are no skaters on the ice and that any equipment including pucks are now gone. Those could become stuck in the augers and break the zamboni or possibly get thrown through the tank of snow and out the other side of it!! So be wary of those pucks. Okay, all clear. We back onto the ice now to a decent starting position.
Again make sure it is all clear. Make note of which doors are open and which are closed. Now we switch the control to forward. Once we begin we can’t take our foot off of the gas pedal or it will stop. A car would glide or cruise if you did so but the zamboni does not. It stops and that is not a good thing because it is hard to control it on the ice when that happens. So we get our foot comfortable and push. As we move forward we drop the conditioner down behind the machine so it is on the ice and the back of the machine lifts slightly. Now the blade is in contact with the ice. Now we turn on the augers to suck up the ice. As we head toward the boards we begin to turn to come into them at a nice angle. Turn on the board brush which pops out form the side of the machine and helps take and snow build up from along the boards and brush it out into the path of the conditioner. As we approach the boards we reach to our right and turn on the make water, remember the hot water is the make water you see coming out of the back of the machine. We do not turn on the wash water during out board lap. Water builds up quickly around the boards so we leave it off for this initial lap. Too much water can cause the slush to be too much for the zamboni to handle and it can get stuck or the augers can jam up and neither of those are good things. So we are going along the boards now fairly slowly but steadily. We are watching the front left corner of the machine as there is a little wheel there. You try not to have the wheel touch the boards but close. Also watch for doors to make sure you stay off of them. They may look closed but if they are not fully closed you could open them with the machine and end up ramming the door which could cause damage to the zamboni, the door, and maybe people. The board lap requires a lot of focused attention. It is the closest to the people you get and also the closest to the boards you get. Imagine trying to drive your car down the street and staying about an inch or two from the curb. Think you would be pretty focused right? I hope so for your cars sake. So we make one full lap around the boards and when we get back to where we started we pull out from the boards. Turn off and retract the board brush. We pull out the width of the conditioner so there is only a small overlap of what was done and what needs to be done on the left side of the conditioner. Too much over lap and two things are happening. One your are getting to much water under the machine as you travel the already made ice and second you are going to have to make an extra lap if you are to far over as you are not using the space wisely. So now we have just enough space and we are heading for the end of the arena. This time when we hit the red line we turn off the or at the very least turn down the make water as we go behind the red line. Why do we do this? We pass this area each time we come down the ice so it is about too much water. There will be plenty there and we really do not need to add more to it. Now we make our turn and head up the center of the ice or slightly left of center. As we cross the red line we turn the water back on. Now we also turn on the wash water but not the pump yet. We want to make sure the pump has some water to suck up before we turn it on or we could burn out the impeller which is made of rubber and needs water as a lubricant or will break. So now we are looking at a spot on the front of the zamboni and making sure it lines up with the line between made ice and unmade ice. We need to use a guide on the machine because we simply can not see well in front of us. If you stood in front of the zamboni I would not see you unless you walked quite far out in front of the machine. I also cannot see anything on the right side of the machine at all. So there are big blind spots when driving the machine. It would be terrible in a car but on the ice it is okay as it is a controlled environment. The guide is different for each person and takes you a little while to find a spot that works for you. This again is to make the most out of each pass up and down the ice. As little overlap as you can. So now we are approaching the far blue line and it is time to turn on the pump. So flick the switch and the water starts to get sucked up. All the water levers can be opened to different rates so those are often changed during each make several times. As we approach the end red line we slow and then turn off the make water again. And we turn it back on as we go back up ice. We leave the wash water on during the make though as it is being sucked up by the pump. So we repeat this till we have one lap left and then we need to get busy with other things again as we prepare to finish our make. Ofcourse we had time during those laps to look in the stands and wave or whatever. There were things to do but not nearly as much as when you are starting and ending. Only if things go wrong can the middle of the make be an issue. So have through our last roughly and we turn off the wash water but leave the pump on for now. This will suck up any extra water so we do not leave a big puddle when we lift the conditioner at the end. So now we finish the lap and are headed for the open doors. We turn the make water down to real low, now off though or it will leave a noticeable path on the ice. So we slow as we near the doors. Off goes the pump, off goes the make water, off goes both of the augers, up comes the conditioner and off the ice we go. Now our help is clearing the little pile of slush we left behind.
We pull the machine to a spot in front of the pit. We check to make sure the pit is open and then we raise the dump tank which is now full of snow and ice. It slides out and with any skill you hit it right on. If not so skilled then time to close the tank, turn off the machine and get a shovel to push the snow into the pit. Then close the pit and pull the machine into a spot over the pit. Turn off the machine. Remove the covers from the back of the conditioner and wash out the slush in the augers. Not everyone does it but it does eliminate a possible problem if the slush freezes and is stuck there for the next make. Replace the covers. Make any notations in the log book, such as time of make and how much ice was in the tank. Then check the wash water tank and basket. Fill and clean if needed. Then I always put the hose in the machine for the make water to remind myself that it needed some before I went out again.
That is a basic ice make and beginning of a day on the machine. I will tell you driving the machine can be a lot of fun when you get the hang out of it and making a nice sheet of ice is a great feeling. Things can go wrong and for those times you need to be ready but thankfully they are very rare. I hope this helped with your dream of driving the zamboni. Anyone can learn if given the proper setting, time, and patience.
So timid we are frozen.
So timid we are frozen.
I see you and reach for you.
You pull away quickly.
Not sure what to fear anymore.
Pain has been the only way.
You reach for me now.
Yet now it is me who pulls away.
I know the pain too.
The fear is there for me.
Timid we are of love.
Yet, I see it in you.
Like I never have before.
A place I want to be.
I know you see I in me too.
Yet, we fear the fall.
The one we are sure that comes with it all.
The one we have always felt.
The fear holds us back.
We know what we want but fear the journey.
It could end in nothing but misery.
We know that feeling well.
So why bother to hope for more?
Take a chance is what we need to do.
Frozen in fear is where we live.
Can we walk together?
Hand in hand past the gates of fear?
Do we dare to step hand in hand?
Hoping for a love so true?
Timid we are right now.
I stand and face you.
You stand and face me.
We see it in each others eyes.
Can we get where we want to go?
Fear has a frozen in place.
Frozen in a lonely place.
The warmth between us can help the thaw.
Please come closer.
Let us melt it away.
Together we can walk hand in hand.
Take a chance on me.
Cause I want to take one on you.
Walk past timid with me.
I dare you too.
I see you and reach for you.
You pull away quickly.
Not sure what to fear anymore.
Pain has been the only way.
You reach for me now.
Yet now it is me who pulls away.
I know the pain too.
The fear is there for me.
Timid we are of love.
Yet, I see it in you.
Like I never have before.
A place I want to be.
I know you see I in me too.
Yet, we fear the fall.
The one we are sure that comes with it all.
The one we have always felt.
The fear holds us back.
We know what we want but fear the journey.
It could end in nothing but misery.
We know that feeling well.
So why bother to hope for more?
Take a chance is what we need to do.
Frozen in fear is where we live.
Can we walk together?
Hand in hand past the gates of fear?
Do we dare to step hand in hand?
Hoping for a love so true?
Timid we are right now.
I stand and face you.
You stand and face me.
We see it in each others eyes.
Can we get where we want to go?
Fear has a frozen in place.
Frozen in a lonely place.
The warmth between us can help the thaw.
Please come closer.
Let us melt it away.
Together we can walk hand in hand.
Take a chance on me.
Cause I want to take one on you.
Walk past timid with me.
I dare you too.
so sad
So Sad
So, so very sad am I.
So very sad inside.
I just want to hide.
No matter where I go.
It goes too.
I can’t run fast enough.
I can’t close my eyes hard enough.
I can’t wish enough.
It is there always.
So very sad deep inside.
Can’t get it to go away.
All I can think of is you.
So, so very sad am I.
So very sad inside.
I just want to hide.
No matter where I go.
It goes too.
I can’t run fast enough.
I can’t close my eyes hard enough.
I can’t wish enough.
It is there always.
So very sad deep inside.
Can’t get it to go away.
All I can think of is you.
So right, so wrong
So right, so wrong
Everything is so right
But yet it is so wrong
How can it be that one thing, one thing can be both of these things at the same time? How can I feel it and want it, oh it’s so right!! No oh no, it is so wrong babe!! Why oh why does it have to be so right when it is really so wrong. Can two hearts blend and it be anything but right? Society says it must be wrong. But who are they and why are they the ones to say? Do my heart strings get pulled to conform to the norm? Who norms anyway!! There’s, mine, ours? It is a tug of war with my heart in the middle… right and wrong….. wrong and right. Where does it go? Who decides that? Me, oh well, hell no. How can I decide? It feels so right baby but it is so wrong. Life is tricky ya know as they slopes are slippery!! One false step and the World is looking to beat you down and not lift you up again. Another step and that same World holds you higher than life itself and you can do no wrong!! But where is the line? Where should I step? How can something feel so right but be so wrong? My heart is on a strong and you hold that string but you are not alone for you see that string is held by others. Society says that string is not for the taking anymore more, so please baby, please let it go before you pull me too far!!! How can something so right feel so wrong? Let it go, let me let go!! Society wants to tell me what is right and what is wrong. Please let go, let go of my heart string. Careful, don’t let me fall down that slippery slope into you, cause baby it will feel so right and I will never want to get up. Oh baby, how can it be so wrong? Tell me, tell me what to do and guide me to you. Oh no , no don’t let me go. Let my string go and let me walk to society’s norm. Please baby!! Oh right or wrong… right or wrong, my heart tells a tale…….. the string is in your hands….. so right and yet so wrong.
Everything is so right
But yet it is so wrong
How can it be that one thing, one thing can be both of these things at the same time? How can I feel it and want it, oh it’s so right!! No oh no, it is so wrong babe!! Why oh why does it have to be so right when it is really so wrong. Can two hearts blend and it be anything but right? Society says it must be wrong. But who are they and why are they the ones to say? Do my heart strings get pulled to conform to the norm? Who norms anyway!! There’s, mine, ours? It is a tug of war with my heart in the middle… right and wrong….. wrong and right. Where does it go? Who decides that? Me, oh well, hell no. How can I decide? It feels so right baby but it is so wrong. Life is tricky ya know as they slopes are slippery!! One false step and the World is looking to beat you down and not lift you up again. Another step and that same World holds you higher than life itself and you can do no wrong!! But where is the line? Where should I step? How can something feel so right but be so wrong? My heart is on a strong and you hold that string but you are not alone for you see that string is held by others. Society says that string is not for the taking anymore more, so please baby, please let it go before you pull me too far!!! How can something so right feel so wrong? Let it go, let me let go!! Society wants to tell me what is right and what is wrong. Please let go, let go of my heart string. Careful, don’t let me fall down that slippery slope into you, cause baby it will feel so right and I will never want to get up. Oh baby, how can it be so wrong? Tell me, tell me what to do and guide me to you. Oh no , no don’t let me go. Let my string go and let me walk to society’s norm. Please baby!! Oh right or wrong… right or wrong, my heart tells a tale…….. the string is in your hands….. so right and yet so wrong.
So much to say
So much to say
I have so much to say
So much to give
So much to share
All with you, yes, with you.
Not for anyone else
Just for you
So much to say
But I can’t let it get away
I hold it close to my vest
Fearing the words my slip away
Slip from my lips
Slip to your ears and scare you away
So much to say but dare I begin?
Can you handle it as I say it?
So so much that I feel
I can’t seem to say it
I know you can feel it
I hope you feel the same
Do I have to say it?
Come on tell me
Show me the way.
So much to say to you.
So much to learn about you.
I am eager like a beaver
With a stream to slow
Trees to chop.
Busy little beaver.
Just like my busy little mind
Don’t go away if I don’t say too much.
I tease you because I don’t dare to say.
I care for you to often or too much.
So much I want to say.
I have so much to say
So much to give
So much to share
All with you, yes, with you.
Not for anyone else
Just for you
So much to say
But I can’t let it get away
Can you hear me without my words?
Listen? My heart says it all.
I have so much to say
So much to give
So much to share
All with you, yes, with you.
Not for anyone else
Just for you
So much to say
But I can’t let it get away
I hold it close to my vest
Fearing the words my slip away
Slip from my lips
Slip to your ears and scare you away
So much to say but dare I begin?
Can you handle it as I say it?
So so much that I feel
I can’t seem to say it
I know you can feel it
I hope you feel the same
Do I have to say it?
Come on tell me
Show me the way.
So much to say to you.
So much to learn about you.
I am eager like a beaver
With a stream to slow
Trees to chop.
Busy little beaver.
Just like my busy little mind
Don’t go away if I don’t say too much.
I tease you because I don’t dare to say.
I care for you to often or too much.
So much I want to say.
I have so much to say
So much to give
So much to share
All with you, yes, with you.
Not for anyone else
Just for you
So much to say
But I can’t let it get away
Can you hear me without my words?
Listen? My heart says it all.
Singing your song
Singing your song
Sitting with my head down now.
Wishing the World would go away.
Wishing it would let me be alone.
Tears flowing from my own eyes.
Sadness filling my heart to the brim.
Just sitting here with my head down.
Everything spinning round and round.
Tears flowing to the ground.
Just wishing to be alone.
Hoping no more.
Hoping no more.
Chirp, tweet, tweet, chirp.
You say to me.
My head still down.
Your song grows louder.
Nearer you come.
Now right above me.
Singing your song.
For all the World to hear.
Sitting with my head down.
Just wanting to be alone.
You fly into my World.
And lift it up with your song.
Calling to your friends.
Asking them to sing along.
To sing you song too.
To lift me from my sad sorrow.
Tweet, tweet, twiddley tweet.
Chirp, chirp, tweet…
Your feathered friends sing along.
A symphony now around me.
Singing the song for me.
Singing the song for me.
My heart begins to fill with warmth.
Your song chases the darkness away.
The sorrow begins to fade.
Your song lifts my spirits.
My head soon follows too.
Thank you my little friends.
Sitting with my head down now.
Wishing the World would go away.
Wishing it would let me be alone.
Tears flowing from my own eyes.
Sadness filling my heart to the brim.
Just sitting here with my head down.
Everything spinning round and round.
Tears flowing to the ground.
Just wishing to be alone.
Hoping no more.
Hoping no more.
Chirp, tweet, tweet, chirp.
You say to me.
My head still down.
Your song grows louder.
Nearer you come.
Now right above me.
Singing your song.
For all the World to hear.
Sitting with my head down.
Just wanting to be alone.
You fly into my World.
And lift it up with your song.
Calling to your friends.
Asking them to sing along.
To sing you song too.
To lift me from my sad sorrow.
Tweet, tweet, twiddley tweet.
Chirp, chirp, tweet…
Your feathered friends sing along.
A symphony now around me.
Singing the song for me.
Singing the song for me.
My heart begins to fill with warmth.
Your song chases the darkness away.
The sorrow begins to fade.
Your song lifts my spirits.
My head soon follows too.
Thank you my little friends.
Simply part of me.
Simply part of me.
I walk alone but yet I am not alone.
I can feel you there with me.
Not walking ahead of me leading the way.
Not walking behind following my lead.
No not you.
You are right there with me.
Part of every step I take.
Part of every beat of my heart.
Part of every breath I take.
You are right there with me.
Sometimes I can’t live with you.
Other times I can live without you.
Sometimes you make perfect sense.
Others you seem to lack it.
How can you be all of this?
How can I be all of that?
Without you were would I be?
I am sure I will never know.
For you are simply part of me.
My voice from within.
My very being lives and breathes with you.
My conscience.
I walk alone but yet I am not alone.
I can feel you there with me.
Not walking ahead of me leading the way.
Not walking behind following my lead.
No not you.
You are right there with me.
Part of every step I take.
Part of every beat of my heart.
Part of every breath I take.
You are right there with me.
Sometimes I can’t live with you.
Other times I can live without you.
Sometimes you make perfect sense.
Others you seem to lack it.
How can you be all of this?
How can I be all of that?
Without you were would I be?
I am sure I will never know.
For you are simply part of me.
My voice from within.
My very being lives and breathes with you.
My conscience.
Show me the Way
Show me the Way
Growing up, I looked at you.
Wanted to be a man like you.
I wanted to walk in your shoes.
Then one day.
It all went away.
A few words from you.
Sent me another way.
Lonely everyday.
Hoping you would call me back to you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
I always hoped.
It never came.
I kept going my way.
It led me further from you.
It didn’t seem to matter to you.
Call me back and help me, I prayed.
I just wanted to be like you.
A man like my Dad.
Was it too much to ask?
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
All I ever wanted was to be the kind of man.
A man just like you.
I wanted to look at the World from your shoes.
Instead I drifted away.
Found out my own way to be come a man.
And look at the World a different way than you.
Doesn’t it make me less of a man.
Cause I still want to be like you.
Call me back and I will learn again.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
I just want to be like you.
Just like you.
A man like you is what I want to be.
So Dad just call to me!!
Cause I want to be a man just like you.
Just show me the way.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
Growing up, I looked at you.
Wanted to be a man like you.
I wanted to walk in your shoes.
Then one day.
It all went away.
A few words from you.
Sent me another way.
Lonely everyday.
Hoping you would call me back to you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
I always hoped.
It never came.
I kept going my way.
It led me further from you.
It didn’t seem to matter to you.
Call me back and help me, I prayed.
I just wanted to be like you.
A man like my Dad.
Was it too much to ask?
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
All I ever wanted was to be the kind of man.
A man just like you.
I wanted to look at the World from your shoes.
Instead I drifted away.
Found out my own way to be come a man.
And look at the World a different way than you.
Doesn’t it make me less of a man.
Cause I still want to be like you.
Call me back and I will learn again.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
I just want to be like you.
Just like you.
A man like you is what I want to be.
So Dad just call to me!!
Cause I want to be a man just like you.
Just show me the way.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me the way to be like you.
Show me, show me the way!!!
Shock the World
Shock the World
The World spins and spins.
We are along for the ride.
Just a small part of this Earth.
Making an impact way to big.
Take the time and change it.
You, me, all of us have to live in it.
Together we must come
To save the World before it is done.
Love thy neighbor for sure.
Who cares where they come from?
Let them be green or blue or orange
For all I CARE!!
Until we come together
And shock this World
One person at a time
Then World spins towards our end.
Shock the World.
Make a difference today.
Use less, begin today.
One by one we all add up.
The choice is still ours
We spin with Mother Earth.
To fix her and save her.
Should be on our plan.
Man owes life to her.
We are one here on Earth.
Together lets get along
And make a new song.
Shock the World
Reclaim Earth.
Live together and live free.
Happiness is yours you see.
Right here and right now.
Shock the World .
Be nice to all
Let it spread.
Watch us unite to help Mother Earth.
The mother of us All.
Earth is our home.
Not just yours or just mine.
Color does not matter to Earth.
We choke her with our abuse.
Why make our Mother so sick?
Shock the World and help Mother.
We get one Mother for all we know.
So we should save her
Before she decides to go.
Shock the World, make the difference today.
The World spins and spins.
We are along for the ride.
Just a small part of this Earth.
Making an impact way to big.
Take the time and change it.
You, me, all of us have to live in it.
Together we must come
To save the World before it is done.
Love thy neighbor for sure.
Who cares where they come from?
Let them be green or blue or orange
For all I CARE!!
Until we come together
And shock this World
One person at a time
Then World spins towards our end.
Shock the World.
Make a difference today.
Use less, begin today.
One by one we all add up.
The choice is still ours
We spin with Mother Earth.
To fix her and save her.
Should be on our plan.
Man owes life to her.
We are one here on Earth.
Together lets get along
And make a new song.
Shock the World
Reclaim Earth.
Live together and live free.
Happiness is yours you see.
Right here and right now.
Shock the World .
Be nice to all
Let it spread.
Watch us unite to help Mother Earth.
The mother of us All.
Earth is our home.
Not just yours or just mine.
Color does not matter to Earth.
We choke her with our abuse.
Why make our Mother so sick?
Shock the World and help Mother.
We get one Mother for all we know.
So we should save her
Before she decides to go.
Shock the World, make the difference today.
She’s gone
She’s gone
I look left.
I look right.
No where in sight.
You have gone.
Gone into hiding.
I run this way.
I run that way.
I search into the night.
I run till the sun comes again.
Gone, your gone.
Part of me is gone now.
Gone with you.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Come to me.
Come to me once more.
Feel my passion.
Feel my pleasure.
Let us have some fun.
Why did you run?
Why did you go?
Take all me.
If you take any of me.
Take me.
You left and only took part of me.
I look left.
Not there…gone.
I look right.
Not there..gone.
Gone gone gone.
You are all gone.
Where did you go?
Where are you now?
Was it my love that scared you away?
Why oh why have you left me today?
Gone, she’s gone.
I am all alone now.
Looking for you.
Looking for you.
I will leave no stone unturned.
Where has my baby gone?
Running from my love.
Running with my heart.
You are gone.
Come back to me.
Come back to me now.
Before I fall to the ground.
She’s gone.
I look left.
I look right.
No where in sight.
You have gone.
Gone into hiding.
I run this way.
I run that way.
I search into the night.
I run till the sun comes again.
Gone, your gone.
Part of me is gone now.
Gone with you.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Come to me.
Come to me once more.
Feel my passion.
Feel my pleasure.
Let us have some fun.
Why did you run?
Why did you go?
Take all me.
If you take any of me.
Take me.
You left and only took part of me.
I look left.
Not there…gone.
I look right.
Not there..gone.
Gone gone gone.
You are all gone.
Where did you go?
Where are you now?
Was it my love that scared you away?
Why oh why have you left me today?
Gone, she’s gone.
I am all alone now.
Looking for you.
Looking for you.
I will leave no stone unturned.
Where has my baby gone?
Running from my love.
Running with my heart.
You are gone.
Come back to me.
Come back to me now.
Before I fall to the ground.
She’s gone.
Shadow of a Man
Shadow of a Man
I am just a shadow of a man.
A shadow of what I truly want too become in this life.
Not quite able to come from the darkness to the light.
Stuck in a place where I can see it all.
And yet can’t reach it.
Stuck in park and spinning my tires.
Hey at least it isn’t reverse.
I have been there before too.
Going backwards when I thought I was going forwards.
Looking one way and going another.
Every damn day felt like I was driving on the wrong side of the road.
On the wrong side of right.
At least I am not there anymore.
But am I the man I want to be?
Am I the man I aspire to be?
Am I the man I need to be?
Not I am a shadow of that man.
He is locked inside of me.
Itching to get out into the spotlight.
Itching to lead the way forward.
To a better place.
To a better life.
For now though I remain a shadow of that man.
Just a shadow of what I can be.
A shadow of what I want to be someday.
Lost in this place of life.
Searching for the right direction.
Searching desperately for the right side of the road.
Wanting to be the man and escape from the darkness of the shadows.
A shadow of a man just searching to be right.
On ward and forward to the light!!
I am just a shadow of a man.
A shadow of what I truly want too become in this life.
Not quite able to come from the darkness to the light.
Stuck in a place where I can see it all.
And yet can’t reach it.
Stuck in park and spinning my tires.
Hey at least it isn’t reverse.
I have been there before too.
Going backwards when I thought I was going forwards.
Looking one way and going another.
Every damn day felt like I was driving on the wrong side of the road.
On the wrong side of right.
At least I am not there anymore.
But am I the man I want to be?
Am I the man I aspire to be?
Am I the man I need to be?
Not I am a shadow of that man.
He is locked inside of me.
Itching to get out into the spotlight.
Itching to lead the way forward.
To a better place.
To a better life.
For now though I remain a shadow of that man.
Just a shadow of what I can be.
A shadow of what I want to be someday.
Lost in this place of life.
Searching for the right direction.
Searching desperately for the right side of the road.
Wanting to be the man and escape from the darkness of the shadows.
A shadow of a man just searching to be right.
On ward and forward to the light!!
See the forest for the trees.
See the forest for the trees.
It is so obvious to me.
I don’t really know why you can’t see it.
I guess maybe you are just too close to be able to see.
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
You are in a cage and need to be set free.
I am here to try and be your savior.
Going to unlock that door to set you free.
But you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Will you run when you are free?
Will you fly to the heights that wait for thee?
Will you chase the dreams that have been kept out of reach?
You need to see the forest for the trees.
Open you eyes, look into mine.
I am here to set you free.
Open your ears, listen to my voice.
I will guide you to the promised lands.
I will show you the forest is made of trees.
Each tree counts as only one.
None are more important than the other.
See the forest for the trees.
I am going to set you free.
Come out of your cage.
Explore the World that is before you.
See the trees that make up the forest.
No need to look from so far away ever again.
The door is open and you must leave.
No need to be stuck in hell again.
Run through the trees, run through the forest.
I know you are going to blossom like a flower in the warm sun.
Life is in your hands now and I know you will cherish it.
Free, yes, you are free to run, free to roam, from the cage that has kept you.
See the forest for the trees. Come be free!!
It is so obvious to me.
I don’t really know why you can’t see it.
I guess maybe you are just too close to be able to see.
Can’t see the forest for the trees.
You are in a cage and need to be set free.
I am here to try and be your savior.
Going to unlock that door to set you free.
But you can’t see the forest for the trees.
Will you run when you are free?
Will you fly to the heights that wait for thee?
Will you chase the dreams that have been kept out of reach?
You need to see the forest for the trees.
Open you eyes, look into mine.
I am here to set you free.
Open your ears, listen to my voice.
I will guide you to the promised lands.
I will show you the forest is made of trees.
Each tree counts as only one.
None are more important than the other.
See the forest for the trees.
I am going to set you free.
Come out of your cage.
Explore the World that is before you.
See the trees that make up the forest.
No need to look from so far away ever again.
The door is open and you must leave.
No need to be stuck in hell again.
Run through the trees, run through the forest.
I know you are going to blossom like a flower in the warm sun.
Life is in your hands now and I know you will cherish it.
Free, yes, you are free to run, free to roam, from the cage that has kept you.
See the forest for the trees. Come be free!!
see
See?
My eyes are tired.
I am trying to see.
Straining too hard.
Just trying to see.
I can’t quite make it out.
I can’t quite seem to see.
It is before me that is true.
Soon it will be nearer too.
Then I will see.
See what it is before me.
I can’t tell now.
Not quite in focus now.
Time goes on.
I’m still trying to see.
I just can’t make it out.
I just want to see.
Oh!! I see now.
I need to look closer to see.
I can’t see into the future now.
Only able to see right before me.
So don’t look ahead.
See what is now.
Before you are dead.
See today not tomorrow.
My eyes are tired.
I am trying to see.
Straining too hard.
Just trying to see.
I can’t quite make it out.
I can’t quite seem to see.
It is before me that is true.
Soon it will be nearer too.
Then I will see.
See what it is before me.
I can’t tell now.
Not quite in focus now.
Time goes on.
I’m still trying to see.
I just can’t make it out.
I just want to see.
Oh!! I see now.
I need to look closer to see.
I can’t see into the future now.
Only able to see right before me.
So don’t look ahead.
See what is now.
Before you are dead.
See today not tomorrow.
Secret hearts
Secret hearts
I look at you with loving eyes.
You look away as quick as you can.
Not because you want too, I know.
What if we look and catch stop looking?
Then they will all know.
Know what we already know inside.
That you want to be mine.
I want to be yours too.
It would be so fine between us.
So much better than could be imagined.
Can’t get caught falling for you.
And you can’t get caught falling for me.
Life isn’t always easy babe.
This proves that for sure to you and me.
I want what I can’t possibly have.
Not yet and not for some time.
We can try and hide it but it shows.
There is no doubt that we think as one.
No doubt we feel as one.
Just no doubt it shows right through.
They seem not to notice the electricity of us.
The sparkle in your eyes when I walk on by.
The twinkle in mine when you are near.
It is obvious but needs to hidden.
It is a jewel worth a million.
Not something to share.
A secret of the utmost importance.
For you are my treasure.
Love me in your heart.
I love you in mine.
Sometimes it will be hard for you and me.
We can skip and play in the shadows.
Hoping one day to find the pot of gold.
Let us pretend to Chase the Rainbow.
In our own secret ways.
SShh, here they come again.
I look at you with loving eyes.
You look away as quick as you can.
Not because you want too, I know.
What if we look and catch stop looking?
Then they will all know.
Know what we already know inside.
That you want to be mine.
I want to be yours too.
It would be so fine between us.
So much better than could be imagined.
Can’t get caught falling for you.
And you can’t get caught falling for me.
Life isn’t always easy babe.
This proves that for sure to you and me.
I want what I can’t possibly have.
Not yet and not for some time.
We can try and hide it but it shows.
There is no doubt that we think as one.
No doubt we feel as one.
Just no doubt it shows right through.
They seem not to notice the electricity of us.
The sparkle in your eyes when I walk on by.
The twinkle in mine when you are near.
It is obvious but needs to hidden.
It is a jewel worth a million.
Not something to share.
A secret of the utmost importance.
For you are my treasure.
Love me in your heart.
I love you in mine.
Sometimes it will be hard for you and me.
We can skip and play in the shadows.
Hoping one day to find the pot of gold.
Let us pretend to Chase the Rainbow.
In our own secret ways.
SShh, here they come again.
Screw Auger Falls
Screw Auger Falls
The valley is surrounded by Maine’s beautiful mountains with pine trees reaching for the sunlit sky which is beaming down brightly on this warm summer day. Occasionally as you drive through the valley you see large fields ready to be farmed. Flowing grass in some and narrow green rows in others that seem to be endless. A sign near the road reads “homemade pies ahead” and sure enough you come upon the stand on the side of the road. This stand is unattended as this part of Maine is still back in another time of believing in the goodness and honesty of people. If you like one of the many delicious looking pies than it is up to you to leave payment behind when you leave with your delicious fresh treat. It is comforting to see this still exists in this often cruel World that forgets even the ones who live across the hall from you. A bit of yester year is still year and the beauty of the area has changed little over time. Soon you see the sign for the falls and turn into a parking lot with numerous spots but few open ones on this beautiful day. A Ranger slowly moves about the people handing out brochures to those who want one and making small take as most Mainers seem to do so often. Not talking about anything but the day and the views not far from the lot. After sliding out of the drivers’ seat I am greeted with a faint breeze that is carrying the sweet smell of the pines surrounding me. I can here a mixture of the chick-a-dee’s song and that of other birds in a soft chorus for all to enjoy. As I head down the path and the sun is taken away by the tall pines I can slowly begin to hear the sounds of rushing crashing water. I am surprised not to hear the sounds of people talking or children playing. Those sounds are drowned out by the water and the birds. As I near the clearing I can see the water rushing and then as I near the opening to the rocks that make up the falls I can see the stunning beauty that glaciers have left behind so many years ago. The falls are carved into the stones and you can imagine how long and persistent this has been to make these falls what I see before me today. They water twists and tumbles as it falls to a destiny somewhere well beyond these falls. The sound of the water is loud but yet so relaxing to me. I could close me eyes and sit hear near the falls forever in peace. There are people here but these falls are big enough that I find my own place of solace. I see a spot and climb down to see what it is like down besides the water as it tumbles over the largest fall. I climb down into what looks like a big bowl that once carried a swirling rush of water. I suppose it may still do so after heavy rains or in the spring when the snow melts from the peaks around me feeding this stream. From above it looked small to me but now that I am in this bowl I am amazed at the size of this and the depth. There is a whole, almost a window is you will that I have to explore and I scramble to get to that point as it isn’t as low as I thought but I make it close enough to be able to see the water of the main falls rushing just inches from my face. I can feel the coolness of the water and also easily see it power as it rushes by so quickly and then disappears over the edge that is also only feet from me. The drop is much further than I could have imagined it to be and there are only water and rocks that wait below. I back away and find my way back up to the more level ground and head up the stream to another set of falls. I pass water that gets funneled into a smaller opening and it seems to bubble with anger as it crashes together before heading downstream to the larger fall. The stream opens and the water is crystal clear as it flows over the golden solid rock below it. I walk slowly into the water and am surprised by the cold water as my toes begin to instantly freeze. It feels warmer as I move away from the main current of the water. I kneel and slowly splash the water over my face and it is so refreshing. It almost gives me immediate rejuvenation from the long drive to this beautiful place. There a more falls and I slowly explore them and notice that upstream there is not a person in sight. I find a way to this area and make my way slowly to the middle of the stream and sit on a rock. My feet are in the water as I watch leaves that have fallen from tress somewhere up stream slowly make their own way to the falls. The bottom of the stream is now a mixture of small boulders, rocks, and sand. The water is so clear that it is not hard to make out things even at the bottom of this rushing water. I again splash my face with water and then my neck, then my arms. With each and every once I splash on me it is as if life is flowing back into my body from this beautiful place. I sit and enjoy the smell of the pine and listen to the songs of the birds which are combined with the trickle that this part of the stream is making. There are no bugs here to bother and no other humans. It is just me and nature, a true peace. One so sought after and often hard to find but here I am and here it is with me. I can’t wait to make a return trip and you should make your own trip to these falls.
The valley is surrounded by Maine’s beautiful mountains with pine trees reaching for the sunlit sky which is beaming down brightly on this warm summer day. Occasionally as you drive through the valley you see large fields ready to be farmed. Flowing grass in some and narrow green rows in others that seem to be endless. A sign near the road reads “homemade pies ahead” and sure enough you come upon the stand on the side of the road. This stand is unattended as this part of Maine is still back in another time of believing in the goodness and honesty of people. If you like one of the many delicious looking pies than it is up to you to leave payment behind when you leave with your delicious fresh treat. It is comforting to see this still exists in this often cruel World that forgets even the ones who live across the hall from you. A bit of yester year is still year and the beauty of the area has changed little over time. Soon you see the sign for the falls and turn into a parking lot with numerous spots but few open ones on this beautiful day. A Ranger slowly moves about the people handing out brochures to those who want one and making small take as most Mainers seem to do so often. Not talking about anything but the day and the views not far from the lot. After sliding out of the drivers’ seat I am greeted with a faint breeze that is carrying the sweet smell of the pines surrounding me. I can here a mixture of the chick-a-dee’s song and that of other birds in a soft chorus for all to enjoy. As I head down the path and the sun is taken away by the tall pines I can slowly begin to hear the sounds of rushing crashing water. I am surprised not to hear the sounds of people talking or children playing. Those sounds are drowned out by the water and the birds. As I near the clearing I can see the water rushing and then as I near the opening to the rocks that make up the falls I can see the stunning beauty that glaciers have left behind so many years ago. The falls are carved into the stones and you can imagine how long and persistent this has been to make these falls what I see before me today. They water twists and tumbles as it falls to a destiny somewhere well beyond these falls. The sound of the water is loud but yet so relaxing to me. I could close me eyes and sit hear near the falls forever in peace. There are people here but these falls are big enough that I find my own place of solace. I see a spot and climb down to see what it is like down besides the water as it tumbles over the largest fall. I climb down into what looks like a big bowl that once carried a swirling rush of water. I suppose it may still do so after heavy rains or in the spring when the snow melts from the peaks around me feeding this stream. From above it looked small to me but now that I am in this bowl I am amazed at the size of this and the depth. There is a whole, almost a window is you will that I have to explore and I scramble to get to that point as it isn’t as low as I thought but I make it close enough to be able to see the water of the main falls rushing just inches from my face. I can feel the coolness of the water and also easily see it power as it rushes by so quickly and then disappears over the edge that is also only feet from me. The drop is much further than I could have imagined it to be and there are only water and rocks that wait below. I back away and find my way back up to the more level ground and head up the stream to another set of falls. I pass water that gets funneled into a smaller opening and it seems to bubble with anger as it crashes together before heading downstream to the larger fall. The stream opens and the water is crystal clear as it flows over the golden solid rock below it. I walk slowly into the water and am surprised by the cold water as my toes begin to instantly freeze. It feels warmer as I move away from the main current of the water. I kneel and slowly splash the water over my face and it is so refreshing. It almost gives me immediate rejuvenation from the long drive to this beautiful place. There a more falls and I slowly explore them and notice that upstream there is not a person in sight. I find a way to this area and make my way slowly to the middle of the stream and sit on a rock. My feet are in the water as I watch leaves that have fallen from tress somewhere up stream slowly make their own way to the falls. The bottom of the stream is now a mixture of small boulders, rocks, and sand. The water is so clear that it is not hard to make out things even at the bottom of this rushing water. I again splash my face with water and then my neck, then my arms. With each and every once I splash on me it is as if life is flowing back into my body from this beautiful place. I sit and enjoy the smell of the pine and listen to the songs of the birds which are combined with the trickle that this part of the stream is making. There are no bugs here to bother and no other humans. It is just me and nature, a true peace. One so sought after and often hard to find but here I am and here it is with me. I can’t wait to make a return trip and you should make your own trip to these falls.
saved
Saved
The snow began to fall slowly from the gray skies. Frank sat in his chair and watched the snow begin to accumulate on the grass in front of his window. The lake just beyond had been frozen for a short while now and was also covered in snow. Not safe enough yet for the ice fishermen that dotted it once the freeze set in deep. A blanket of white lay before his eyes. He knew with the new storm that is would soon be nothing but white beyond his window. Frank loved sitting there and just looking out at the snow in the winter and the activity on the lake in the summer. He remembered the days when he used to be a little younger and a lot more active. He loved being out on the lake. His wife Betsy had passed not so long ago and now he was lonely and old he told himself. Nothing but a burden on society was how he put it to his daughter when she came to visit. She always gave him a frown when he said that to her as she said she just preferred him to be happy and enjoy life. He laughed at the thought of it. He was enjoying life but what could he do but stare out the window? He was in a wheelchair and there was not much he could do in the winter with the snow. He just looked at the snow and almost thought he could count the flakes as they fell today in front of him. He started to doze off while counting the flakes. Finally his eyes closing and his head resting on his chest.
Kristen was headed home to see her mother for the weekend and was not aware that it was supposed to snow. She never had time for that sort of thing, listening to the weather. It was time to change channels. She would see what it was when it came and usually everyone else knew anyway so what did it matter to her. She was a little late already but Mom would not be surprised as she had made it a pattern in her life to be a bit late and a dollar short. She loved to party and sometime the priorities of life just kind of slipped by her to fast. She was coming up on the crest of the hill which always had a good view of the lake below. She loved to speed up before the top and feel her stomach fill with butterflies that seemed to tickle her with their wings as she came back to Earth on the other side of the crest. She hit the gas and sped towards the crest.
Frank began to dream or so he thought it was a dream at least. A woman in the distance came towards him and as she neared the woman became clearer to him. It was a younger Betsy. He felt warm all of the sudden as he stood face to face with his beautiful wife. Oh how he missed her and how wonderful to dream of her right now. He always loved the memories of life with Betsy as they were the best times of his life. They were perfect for one another in everyway. There love was true and unconditional over the 55 years they were together. She smiled warmly and so did Frank. He reached his hand towards her but it went right through her. Tears came to his face as he longed to touch his beloved Betsy once last time. Oh how he missed her love and tender touch. He tried to speak but simply could not. Betsy looked into Frank’s eyes and smiled in her loving way. She opened her mouth and began to form a word.
Betsy was interrupted by a loud noise and Frank awoke from his wonderful dream. He saw a red sports car streak past his window towards the lake. His heart raced as there were no brake lights from the car before it hit the ice and broke through. Frank tried to move but felt frozen until he heard Betsy’s voice in his head. “Go save her Frank. You can do it. Do not be afraid. I am here waiting for you. We will be together again. Go save her young life. Come home to me Frank.” Frank shook his head but the voice kept talking and encouraging him. He turned he wheelchair and headed for the door. Through the door he went quickly and then down the ramp and towards the hill leading to the lake. He paused at the top of the hill and was afraid he could not make it down without his wheelchair tumbling out of control. Thoughts of doubt began to creep into his head. Could he make it down the hill? Even if he could then what would he do? Go on the ice? Would it hold him and his chair? Then what could he in a wheelchair do with a car sinking into the water? Frank just looked down towards where the car was disappearing in the water.
Kristen crested the hill and had the wonderful tumbling tingling feeling she had hoped for after speeding over the top of the hill. She then got the view of the lake below and was completely happy. She applied the brake to slow now that she was going down the hill but she did not slow. Kristen hit the brakes again and again but the car did not slow and only seemed to pick up speed as she headed down the hill. She knew she could not make the turn at the bottom and there was nowhere to turn off. She knew if she couldn’t stop she was either going to hit the house at the bottom or head towards the lake. She hoped it was frozen already. It didn’t really matter because she was headed towards it no matter what. She tried to think of what to do and then remembered the emergency brake. This seemed like an emergency so she grabbed it and tried to pull it up but it did not budge. She tried and tried but it was frozen in place. Nothing to stop her now and she knew it. She began to pray and knew it would take a miracle for her to walk away from this ride. She began to promise to be a better person. A better daughter and a better worker and the list went on as the car left the road and thudded as it landed on the frozen lawn before hitting the ice with a loud crack. The car stopped and slowly began to fall through the ice. Kristen tried to get out but she could not open the doors. She was stuck and thought she was about to drown to death in the icy water as the cars front end began to go under the water.
Frank was still in shock at the top of the hill and the car was fading away now. Suddenly his hand pushed forward on the knob in his hand and down the hill he went. The wheelchair was picking up speed along the way. He wanted to smile for some strange reason as he knew he would not tip over and he would make it to the car. He felt like Betsy was guiding him right to the car. He hit the ice and the momentum seemed to carry him right to the edge of the whole in the ice before his wheelchair hit a bump and flipped over. It hit the ice hard and so did Frank. He shook his head to try and regain his composure and the doubt began to creep back in. Then he noticed his chair had broken and a piece of metal lay beside him on the ice. His char had slid away from him and away from the hole in the ice. He smiled as he knew Betsy had made that happen. The chair was no longer needed but he did need a piece of metal to bust the window open to free whoever was in the car. He grabbed the metal and slid into the water. He dove straight down and his legs felt good in the cold water and had a life left in them. The car seemed to glow to him and he headed towards it. He reached the door and tried to open it. He couldn’t get it to budge at all. The woman inside looked back at him with fear in her eyes.
Kristen could not believe that there was someone down there banging on her window. She had given up hope she would make it out of the car alive. Now this old man with gray hair and a gray beard was pounding on her window, trying to break it. She would be saved if he could break it she thought. She felt relieved as a voice told her to relax and it would all be alright. The voice told her to take deep breaths and to hold it when the window cracked. The woman’s voice told her to swim hard to the surface when she was out and get to the house to stay warm. She thought she was hallucinating but it also all made perfect sense to her and calmed her.
Frank was struggling to hold his breath and felt his strength slipping from him. He told himself he could do it and in his mind said this one is for you Betsy as he smashed the metal with all his remaining strength into the glass of the car. It shattered and the window was now gone. Frank reached in and grabbed a hold of the young woman inside and pulled her out the window. He saw her heading towards the surface and knew she would be okay. Betsy began to talk to him again as he began to fade form the cold water and his breath gave out. The air now replaced by ice cold water. Frank was slipping away to another place and he knew it. He knew though that place was where his beloved Betsy was and he had no fear.
Kristen was headed towards the surface like a hand was pulling her upwards. She made it to the surface and then tried to scramble onto the ice. She would swear tot his day that someone pushed her from below onto the ice. She turned and looked for the man who had broken the window. She did not see him. She waited a few moments and then got to her feet. She saw the wheelchair and her heart sunk. She ran towards the house but knew it was already too late for him. She still needed to try to get him help. She made it inside the open door and called 911.
The divers found Frank’s body and pulled him to the surface. He had a smile on his face and seemed at piece to the divers. Frank had saved Kristen but gave his life in the effort was how the story was written in the papers. Frank was a hero. Kristen had a lot of guilt at first and struggled. Frank though set her mind a ease. He visited her in a dream one night and told her to live life. To be happy and live each day the best she could. To try and make the World a better place. He told her not to feel sad for him as he was with his beloved Betsy. The next day Kristen awoke feeling at ease and had a sense of direction. She would become a doctor and saved many lives over the years. Frank and Betsy often look down on her from their happy place above.
The snow began to fall slowly from the gray skies. Frank sat in his chair and watched the snow begin to accumulate on the grass in front of his window. The lake just beyond had been frozen for a short while now and was also covered in snow. Not safe enough yet for the ice fishermen that dotted it once the freeze set in deep. A blanket of white lay before his eyes. He knew with the new storm that is would soon be nothing but white beyond his window. Frank loved sitting there and just looking out at the snow in the winter and the activity on the lake in the summer. He remembered the days when he used to be a little younger and a lot more active. He loved being out on the lake. His wife Betsy had passed not so long ago and now he was lonely and old he told himself. Nothing but a burden on society was how he put it to his daughter when she came to visit. She always gave him a frown when he said that to her as she said she just preferred him to be happy and enjoy life. He laughed at the thought of it. He was enjoying life but what could he do but stare out the window? He was in a wheelchair and there was not much he could do in the winter with the snow. He just looked at the snow and almost thought he could count the flakes as they fell today in front of him. He started to doze off while counting the flakes. Finally his eyes closing and his head resting on his chest.
Kristen was headed home to see her mother for the weekend and was not aware that it was supposed to snow. She never had time for that sort of thing, listening to the weather. It was time to change channels. She would see what it was when it came and usually everyone else knew anyway so what did it matter to her. She was a little late already but Mom would not be surprised as she had made it a pattern in her life to be a bit late and a dollar short. She loved to party and sometime the priorities of life just kind of slipped by her to fast. She was coming up on the crest of the hill which always had a good view of the lake below. She loved to speed up before the top and feel her stomach fill with butterflies that seemed to tickle her with their wings as she came back to Earth on the other side of the crest. She hit the gas and sped towards the crest.
Frank began to dream or so he thought it was a dream at least. A woman in the distance came towards him and as she neared the woman became clearer to him. It was a younger Betsy. He felt warm all of the sudden as he stood face to face with his beautiful wife. Oh how he missed her and how wonderful to dream of her right now. He always loved the memories of life with Betsy as they were the best times of his life. They were perfect for one another in everyway. There love was true and unconditional over the 55 years they were together. She smiled warmly and so did Frank. He reached his hand towards her but it went right through her. Tears came to his face as he longed to touch his beloved Betsy once last time. Oh how he missed her love and tender touch. He tried to speak but simply could not. Betsy looked into Frank’s eyes and smiled in her loving way. She opened her mouth and began to form a word.
Betsy was interrupted by a loud noise and Frank awoke from his wonderful dream. He saw a red sports car streak past his window towards the lake. His heart raced as there were no brake lights from the car before it hit the ice and broke through. Frank tried to move but felt frozen until he heard Betsy’s voice in his head. “Go save her Frank. You can do it. Do not be afraid. I am here waiting for you. We will be together again. Go save her young life. Come home to me Frank.” Frank shook his head but the voice kept talking and encouraging him. He turned he wheelchair and headed for the door. Through the door he went quickly and then down the ramp and towards the hill leading to the lake. He paused at the top of the hill and was afraid he could not make it down without his wheelchair tumbling out of control. Thoughts of doubt began to creep into his head. Could he make it down the hill? Even if he could then what would he do? Go on the ice? Would it hold him and his chair? Then what could he in a wheelchair do with a car sinking into the water? Frank just looked down towards where the car was disappearing in the water.
Kristen crested the hill and had the wonderful tumbling tingling feeling she had hoped for after speeding over the top of the hill. She then got the view of the lake below and was completely happy. She applied the brake to slow now that she was going down the hill but she did not slow. Kristen hit the brakes again and again but the car did not slow and only seemed to pick up speed as she headed down the hill. She knew she could not make the turn at the bottom and there was nowhere to turn off. She knew if she couldn’t stop she was either going to hit the house at the bottom or head towards the lake. She hoped it was frozen already. It didn’t really matter because she was headed towards it no matter what. She tried to think of what to do and then remembered the emergency brake. This seemed like an emergency so she grabbed it and tried to pull it up but it did not budge. She tried and tried but it was frozen in place. Nothing to stop her now and she knew it. She began to pray and knew it would take a miracle for her to walk away from this ride. She began to promise to be a better person. A better daughter and a better worker and the list went on as the car left the road and thudded as it landed on the frozen lawn before hitting the ice with a loud crack. The car stopped and slowly began to fall through the ice. Kristen tried to get out but she could not open the doors. She was stuck and thought she was about to drown to death in the icy water as the cars front end began to go under the water.
Frank was still in shock at the top of the hill and the car was fading away now. Suddenly his hand pushed forward on the knob in his hand and down the hill he went. The wheelchair was picking up speed along the way. He wanted to smile for some strange reason as he knew he would not tip over and he would make it to the car. He felt like Betsy was guiding him right to the car. He hit the ice and the momentum seemed to carry him right to the edge of the whole in the ice before his wheelchair hit a bump and flipped over. It hit the ice hard and so did Frank. He shook his head to try and regain his composure and the doubt began to creep back in. Then he noticed his chair had broken and a piece of metal lay beside him on the ice. His char had slid away from him and away from the hole in the ice. He smiled as he knew Betsy had made that happen. The chair was no longer needed but he did need a piece of metal to bust the window open to free whoever was in the car. He grabbed the metal and slid into the water. He dove straight down and his legs felt good in the cold water and had a life left in them. The car seemed to glow to him and he headed towards it. He reached the door and tried to open it. He couldn’t get it to budge at all. The woman inside looked back at him with fear in her eyes.
Kristen could not believe that there was someone down there banging on her window. She had given up hope she would make it out of the car alive. Now this old man with gray hair and a gray beard was pounding on her window, trying to break it. She would be saved if he could break it she thought. She felt relieved as a voice told her to relax and it would all be alright. The voice told her to take deep breaths and to hold it when the window cracked. The woman’s voice told her to swim hard to the surface when she was out and get to the house to stay warm. She thought she was hallucinating but it also all made perfect sense to her and calmed her.
Frank was struggling to hold his breath and felt his strength slipping from him. He told himself he could do it and in his mind said this one is for you Betsy as he smashed the metal with all his remaining strength into the glass of the car. It shattered and the window was now gone. Frank reached in and grabbed a hold of the young woman inside and pulled her out the window. He saw her heading towards the surface and knew she would be okay. Betsy began to talk to him again as he began to fade form the cold water and his breath gave out. The air now replaced by ice cold water. Frank was slipping away to another place and he knew it. He knew though that place was where his beloved Betsy was and he had no fear.
Kristen was headed towards the surface like a hand was pulling her upwards. She made it to the surface and then tried to scramble onto the ice. She would swear tot his day that someone pushed her from below onto the ice. She turned and looked for the man who had broken the window. She did not see him. She waited a few moments and then got to her feet. She saw the wheelchair and her heart sunk. She ran towards the house but knew it was already too late for him. She still needed to try to get him help. She made it inside the open door and called 911.
The divers found Frank’s body and pulled him to the surface. He had a smile on his face and seemed at piece to the divers. Frank had saved Kristen but gave his life in the effort was how the story was written in the papers. Frank was a hero. Kristen had a lot of guilt at first and struggled. Frank though set her mind a ease. He visited her in a dream one night and told her to live life. To be happy and live each day the best she could. To try and make the World a better place. He told her not to feel sad for him as he was with his beloved Betsy. The next day Kristen awoke feeling at ease and had a sense of direction. She would become a doctor and saved many lives over the years. Frank and Betsy often look down on her from their happy place above.
unleashed 4
CH. 4
Marc loved the drive to work as it was just simply beautiful. The coast was always slightly different each day it seemed with fog hiding the details on some mornings, lobster boats slipping in and out of the fog on others, the tide was high or low and the sea was calm or maybe rough. So many variables made the ocean simply unpredictable and Marc believed it mimicked life in many ways with its hidden mysteries and well kept secrets. The ebb and flow of the ocean and the ebb and flow of life seemed so similar as he gazed out at the ocean from an outlook in the park where he stopped each morning to drink his coffee, read the paper, and just prepare himself for another day in the facility. This day was starting just like all the others until he read the small news brief about a sudden rise in deaths from Malaria in Zambia. Marc’s heart skipped a beat as this was not just another news brief in the local paper to him but a sign of something much worse. He knew way too much about the subject to know that the sudden rise was anything but mysterious to a chosen few. Marc felt a chill roll through his body from the top of his head down to his toes. The cold seemed to sink within him as it moved down his body. He was angry, sad, and confused all at once. In some ways these deaths were on his hands and he knew that too. The job had not been what he expected at the facility but it seemed so unreal and he hoped it would never truly be used but then again in his heart of hearts he always knew that what he had created would be used to kill and control other human beings. He just always hoped he would avoid knowing about it and now he realized that was just a stupid dream of his that never would come true and the article in the paper today proved that beyond a doubt to him.
Marc finished his coffee slowly and knew he would be late to work which was not looked upon well at the facility. He just didn’t care today as they could say whatever they wanted to him but he knew they would do little as he was simply too valuable because of what he had engineered for the Government and the Park Service. He couldn’t quit his job and they were not going to fire him so it really didn’t matter if he was late. He sipped his coffee as the ocean before him seemed ready to roar with anger. Marc wondered if God would strike him down for this or if the Devil would be the one he met in the afterlife. His thoughts turned to Zambia and the sudden rise of death as a tear formed in his eye.
Meanwhile further down the East Coast in Washington DC the President of the United States was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office reading a brief handed to him by CIA Director Charles Hansen concerning an off the books operation. He had read and reread the brief to make sure he missed nothing. President Theodore Agiocochook looked up and directly into the eyes of the now seated CIA Director with a icy glare that shook the man. President Agiocochook was known to be tough and ruthless when he felt he needed to be and that was a large part of why he had been elected to office by the American public. He vowed to take on the World and stop terrorists once and for all. He had promised America would be safe from these people at all costs and it was more than a political speech for him. He meant it from his heart and now was making it happen. He knew the public would not have the stomach for the type of warfare he was conducting but he also knew that the American public would turn the other cheek to rumors that would be floated by some who just could not keep things quiet. His team would spin any leaks and take care of the leaker. Everything was half truths in Washington politics at best and he knew how to play the game. He gave the public what they craved with soldiers fighting in hot spots all over the World. Public war to keep them satisfied while his private war would change the World.
“Charlie this all looks good. It is a great start in fact. Has there been any talk about the causes of the surge?” asked President Agiocochook. The Director looked nervous as he answered, “Well, no, ah not yet. It seems the WHO is just putting it off to a freak thing for now.” “Can we expect that to continue Charlie? What can we expect of the spread?” “Mr. President it is likely to remain under the radar for awhile until a scientist stumbles upon one of our “Unleashed” mosquitoes. And then they would have to begin analyzing to see the mutation we created.” “So we have awhile before it is found and are our plans to unleash in other areas moving forward as well?” “Yes sir they are moving along but I still have to tell you I think we need to be cautious with this as we do not have a vaccine that is viable for our own people. If it spreads too quickly then the wrong people will be dying too. As of right now it is poor people that are dying from malaria normally that we are just enhancing. Zambia is one of the worst places in the World for malaria. We can remain hidden there while it spreads slowly.” “I am prepared to take the chances to get America back to where it needs to be in this World. We are the Super Power and we are the ones to lead the World. The World needs to be cleansed of all the people. There are too many people taxing this Earth and crowding our lifestyles. We need to get rid of the poor and malnourished. We need to get rid of those who wish to cause us harm. We need to eliminate any and all possible threats to America. And we WILL do just that Charlie.” Director Hansen nodded as his stomach churned with feelings of unease. He agreed to a point with the President but was unsure if it needed to go as far as the President wanted it to go. He got up and left as the President had turned his chair to face out the window.
Charles Hansen had been a career CIA man and knew the drill. The lines walked were always thin and yet you were expected to walk the line without stepping on one side or the other. If things came out in the open then you were expected to clean up the mess and even take the fall if needed. He wondered how long before this one got out of control and came back to haunt them. It was ambitious to say the least and dangerous to the whole World until a vaccine was created to control who died and who did not from the perfected mosquitoes they engineered to deliver the most deadly form of malaria which they had also perfected. There was no way to stop these super engineered killing machines. One bite was enough to infect you. One bite to kill you. It had been unleashed.
Marc loved the drive to work as it was just simply beautiful. The coast was always slightly different each day it seemed with fog hiding the details on some mornings, lobster boats slipping in and out of the fog on others, the tide was high or low and the sea was calm or maybe rough. So many variables made the ocean simply unpredictable and Marc believed it mimicked life in many ways with its hidden mysteries and well kept secrets. The ebb and flow of the ocean and the ebb and flow of life seemed so similar as he gazed out at the ocean from an outlook in the park where he stopped each morning to drink his coffee, read the paper, and just prepare himself for another day in the facility. This day was starting just like all the others until he read the small news brief about a sudden rise in deaths from Malaria in Zambia. Marc’s heart skipped a beat as this was not just another news brief in the local paper to him but a sign of something much worse. He knew way too much about the subject to know that the sudden rise was anything but mysterious to a chosen few. Marc felt a chill roll through his body from the top of his head down to his toes. The cold seemed to sink within him as it moved down his body. He was angry, sad, and confused all at once. In some ways these deaths were on his hands and he knew that too. The job had not been what he expected at the facility but it seemed so unreal and he hoped it would never truly be used but then again in his heart of hearts he always knew that what he had created would be used to kill and control other human beings. He just always hoped he would avoid knowing about it and now he realized that was just a stupid dream of his that never would come true and the article in the paper today proved that beyond a doubt to him.
Marc finished his coffee slowly and knew he would be late to work which was not looked upon well at the facility. He just didn’t care today as they could say whatever they wanted to him but he knew they would do little as he was simply too valuable because of what he had engineered for the Government and the Park Service. He couldn’t quit his job and they were not going to fire him so it really didn’t matter if he was late. He sipped his coffee as the ocean before him seemed ready to roar with anger. Marc wondered if God would strike him down for this or if the Devil would be the one he met in the afterlife. His thoughts turned to Zambia and the sudden rise of death as a tear formed in his eye.
Meanwhile further down the East Coast in Washington DC the President of the United States was sitting at his desk in the Oval Office reading a brief handed to him by CIA Director Charles Hansen concerning an off the books operation. He had read and reread the brief to make sure he missed nothing. President Theodore Agiocochook looked up and directly into the eyes of the now seated CIA Director with a icy glare that shook the man. President Agiocochook was known to be tough and ruthless when he felt he needed to be and that was a large part of why he had been elected to office by the American public. He vowed to take on the World and stop terrorists once and for all. He had promised America would be safe from these people at all costs and it was more than a political speech for him. He meant it from his heart and now was making it happen. He knew the public would not have the stomach for the type of warfare he was conducting but he also knew that the American public would turn the other cheek to rumors that would be floated by some who just could not keep things quiet. His team would spin any leaks and take care of the leaker. Everything was half truths in Washington politics at best and he knew how to play the game. He gave the public what they craved with soldiers fighting in hot spots all over the World. Public war to keep them satisfied while his private war would change the World.
“Charlie this all looks good. It is a great start in fact. Has there been any talk about the causes of the surge?” asked President Agiocochook. The Director looked nervous as he answered, “Well, no, ah not yet. It seems the WHO is just putting it off to a freak thing for now.” “Can we expect that to continue Charlie? What can we expect of the spread?” “Mr. President it is likely to remain under the radar for awhile until a scientist stumbles upon one of our “Unleashed” mosquitoes. And then they would have to begin analyzing to see the mutation we created.” “So we have awhile before it is found and are our plans to unleash in other areas moving forward as well?” “Yes sir they are moving along but I still have to tell you I think we need to be cautious with this as we do not have a vaccine that is viable for our own people. If it spreads too quickly then the wrong people will be dying too. As of right now it is poor people that are dying from malaria normally that we are just enhancing. Zambia is one of the worst places in the World for malaria. We can remain hidden there while it spreads slowly.” “I am prepared to take the chances to get America back to where it needs to be in this World. We are the Super Power and we are the ones to lead the World. The World needs to be cleansed of all the people. There are too many people taxing this Earth and crowding our lifestyles. We need to get rid of the poor and malnourished. We need to get rid of those who wish to cause us harm. We need to eliminate any and all possible threats to America. And we WILL do just that Charlie.” Director Hansen nodded as his stomach churned with feelings of unease. He agreed to a point with the President but was unsure if it needed to go as far as the President wanted it to go. He got up and left as the President had turned his chair to face out the window.
Charles Hansen had been a career CIA man and knew the drill. The lines walked were always thin and yet you were expected to walk the line without stepping on one side or the other. If things came out in the open then you were expected to clean up the mess and even take the fall if needed. He wondered how long before this one got out of control and came back to haunt them. It was ambitious to say the least and dangerous to the whole World until a vaccine was created to control who died and who did not from the perfected mosquitoes they engineered to deliver the most deadly form of malaria which they had also perfected. There was no way to stop these super engineered killing machines. One bite was enough to infect you. One bite to kill you. It had been unleashed.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Keep movin
Life is a journey.
One that unfolds before us.
So many paths.
So little guidance.
We are born and the journey begins.
No choice in the start.
No choice inthe early path we are set upon.
Where the journey goes inbetween?
That is where you come in.
For all that is given adn all that is certain.
We begin and we end.
Life here on Earth is not infinite.
It is quite finite.
That is certain.
Tke you lumps.
Take your bumps.
Keep on grovin.
The paths inbetween are the one sthat shape you.
The choices you make define you.
Walk your walk.
Nobody can walk it for you.
Don't look back.
Move on and on.
Smell the roses.
Watch out for the thorns.
Journey your way.
On towards the end.
Nobody can judge you but you.
Nobody can be you but you.
Don't be led by others.
Their journey isn't yours.
Their path may leave you with less choices.
In the end you need to be your own person.
Discover the World.
We know it isn't flat.
So don't be afraid.
Don't turn back.
Others cross our paths.
Enjoy the encounters.
Keep moving though.
Life waits for none.
Your path grows shorter.
Even if you stand still.
Time ticks away.
It waits for none.
Just keep movin.
It has only just begun.
One that unfolds before us.
So many paths.
So little guidance.
We are born and the journey begins.
No choice in the start.
No choice inthe early path we are set upon.
Where the journey goes inbetween?
That is where you come in.
For all that is given adn all that is certain.
We begin and we end.
Life here on Earth is not infinite.
It is quite finite.
That is certain.
Tke you lumps.
Take your bumps.
Keep on grovin.
The paths inbetween are the one sthat shape you.
The choices you make define you.
Walk your walk.
Nobody can walk it for you.
Don't look back.
Move on and on.
Smell the roses.
Watch out for the thorns.
Journey your way.
On towards the end.
Nobody can judge you but you.
Nobody can be you but you.
Don't be led by others.
Their journey isn't yours.
Their path may leave you with less choices.
In the end you need to be your own person.
Discover the World.
We know it isn't flat.
So don't be afraid.
Don't turn back.
Others cross our paths.
Enjoy the encounters.
Keep moving though.
Life waits for none.
Your path grows shorter.
Even if you stand still.
Time ticks away.
It waits for none.
Just keep movin.
It has only just begun.
Honey you are all that I need.
Honey you are all that I need.
Often I look in the mirror.
The man looking back at me.
Is one that often shakes his head.
Why did you do that?
Why did you do this?
Sometimes it tells me what a fool I am too.
The reflection has often had disappointment.
A life not quite fulfilled to expectations.
Dreams left as faded hopes.
Laughter often replaced by tears.
Desire replaced by fears.
Life is what you make of it they say.
Life is what I didn’t make of it I say.
More often than not I came up a little short.
Not because I couldn’t.
But because I just didn’t.
I didn’t believe in that reflection.
I didn’t believe in that boy.
So many chances.
So many misses.
Let me tell you one thing though honey.
I hit the bulls eye with you.
A day a dream a hope a prayer.
I have you.
Nothing compares to you.
Not a single soul.
I trust nobody more.
I love nobody more.
I believe in nobody more.
There were others.
Pain I caused you.
Let it be known that I belong to you.
Heart, mind, body, and soul.
Nobody could ever compare to you.
My best friend, my confidant, my motivator, my shoulder to cry on, my lover.
You are on in a million, no make that a trillion.
There simply is no replacing you.
It can’t be done.
Often in the mirror when my reflection causes me doubt.
All it takes is one thought of you.
To wipe away the sadness and bring back joy.
You are the one thing I don’t question.
The one thing I don’t regret.
The one thing that is always better than the rest.
Honey you simply are the best.
Often I look in the mirror.
The man looking back at me.
Is one that often shakes his head.
Why did you do that?
Why did you do this?
Sometimes it tells me what a fool I am too.
The reflection has often had disappointment.
A life not quite fulfilled to expectations.
Dreams left as faded hopes.
Laughter often replaced by tears.
Desire replaced by fears.
Life is what you make of it they say.
Life is what I didn’t make of it I say.
More often than not I came up a little short.
Not because I couldn’t.
But because I just didn’t.
I didn’t believe in that reflection.
I didn’t believe in that boy.
So many chances.
So many misses.
Let me tell you one thing though honey.
I hit the bulls eye with you.
A day a dream a hope a prayer.
I have you.
Nothing compares to you.
Not a single soul.
I trust nobody more.
I love nobody more.
I believe in nobody more.
There were others.
Pain I caused you.
Let it be known that I belong to you.
Heart, mind, body, and soul.
Nobody could ever compare to you.
My best friend, my confidant, my motivator, my shoulder to cry on, my lover.
You are on in a million, no make that a trillion.
There simply is no replacing you.
It can’t be done.
Often in the mirror when my reflection causes me doubt.
All it takes is one thought of you.
To wipe away the sadness and bring back joy.
You are the one thing I don’t question.
The one thing I don’t regret.
The one thing that is always better than the rest.
Honey you simply are the best.
Friday, June 22, 2007
once more
Once more………
I know you look at me and wonder why I turn away.
I can’t let you see the dark that is inside of me.
It is within me that the darkness grows and festers.
Within me that the devil lives.
Within me that I have given up the fight.
On the outside I still love very much alive.
So just let me turn and walk away.
Let me go on my own road.
Don’t try to stop me.
Don’t try to fight me.
Honey there is no saving me.
I am too far gone.
Too far gone down that lonely road.
So just turn and walk away.
Go your own way.
And I will go my own way.
Savoir the memories of the good ole days.
The days before I died inside.
The days before the cold moved in me.
Honey remember the good ole days.
The love we had was something to cherish.
Somehow, someway it got away from us.
Somehow it got away from us.
I died inside and nobody knew it but me.
I am gone to far gone now.
Cold to the core.
So please just let me walk away.
Honey I remember the good times.
Don’t wanna let em slip away.
Don’t wanna let them fade away.
So I am gonna keep on walkin now.
You go on now too.
Remember you walked away.
It killed me inside.
Now you tried to turn back to me.
I wanted you so bad.
And you went away.
Now I am dead inside.
And I can’t let you see it.
So I am gonna just turn away.
Go and walk your way.
You have done it before so do it now.
I am dying inside.
So just let me be.
Remember the good ole days.
Just let me fade away.
Fade away.
No chance for you to rescue me.
I am just turning away.
Fading away.
Why are you chasing after me?
Can’t you see that I’m dying inside?
Just let me be.
No telling me it can be like the good ole days.
I hear the words you are saying.
Yes but they float on past me.
No way can I trust thee.
I am dying inside because you left me.
Now you want me.
Why now and why me?
Can’t you just walk away and let me be.
You say you want it all back again.
You think you can save me.
You just want to love me.
How can I trust you again?
Will you turn and run again?
I am dying inside.
And you are trying to revive me.
I can’t run anymore.
My heart simply adores you.
You are part of me.
Love me.
I love you.
Help me live again.
Be with me again.
Live life again.
One more shot.
One more chance.
Hopefully not all for not.
One more shot is all I got.
And I give it all to you.
I give my heart.
I know you look at me and wonder why I turn away.
I can’t let you see the dark that is inside of me.
It is within me that the darkness grows and festers.
Within me that the devil lives.
Within me that I have given up the fight.
On the outside I still love very much alive.
So just let me turn and walk away.
Let me go on my own road.
Don’t try to stop me.
Don’t try to fight me.
Honey there is no saving me.
I am too far gone.
Too far gone down that lonely road.
So just turn and walk away.
Go your own way.
And I will go my own way.
Savoir the memories of the good ole days.
The days before I died inside.
The days before the cold moved in me.
Honey remember the good ole days.
The love we had was something to cherish.
Somehow, someway it got away from us.
Somehow it got away from us.
I died inside and nobody knew it but me.
I am gone to far gone now.
Cold to the core.
So please just let me walk away.
Honey I remember the good times.
Don’t wanna let em slip away.
Don’t wanna let them fade away.
So I am gonna keep on walkin now.
You go on now too.
Remember you walked away.
It killed me inside.
Now you tried to turn back to me.
I wanted you so bad.
And you went away.
Now I am dead inside.
And I can’t let you see it.
So I am gonna just turn away.
Go and walk your way.
You have done it before so do it now.
I am dying inside.
So just let me be.
Remember the good ole days.
Just let me fade away.
Fade away.
No chance for you to rescue me.
I am just turning away.
Fading away.
Why are you chasing after me?
Can’t you see that I’m dying inside?
Just let me be.
No telling me it can be like the good ole days.
I hear the words you are saying.
Yes but they float on past me.
No way can I trust thee.
I am dying inside because you left me.
Now you want me.
Why now and why me?
Can’t you just walk away and let me be.
You say you want it all back again.
You think you can save me.
You just want to love me.
How can I trust you again?
Will you turn and run again?
I am dying inside.
And you are trying to revive me.
I can’t run anymore.
My heart simply adores you.
You are part of me.
Love me.
I love you.
Help me live again.
Be with me again.
Live life again.
One more shot.
One more chance.
Hopefully not all for not.
One more shot is all I got.
And I give it all to you.
I give my heart.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
a dream
A dream
I hold your picture close to me.
It is all I have of you.
You are so far away.
Yet you feel so close.
You have touched me inside.
Yet I have yet to touch your skin.
What is it like?
I often wonder how you would be here with me.
What does your perfume smell like?
Is your skin soft to my touch?
I can only wonder what I would see in your eyes.
Could I see your soul?
So far away.
Yet so near to my heart.
I close my eyes hoping.
Hoping when I open them.
That there you will be.
Right in front of me.
No more dreaming.
No more wondering.
Just you in front of me.
Could it be true?
At last you are here.
You skin is so very soft.
Your smell so very sweet.
Your eyes so very loving.
A dream….
A dream….
Is all I truly have of you.
I hold your picture close to me.
It is all I have of you.
You are so far away.
Yet you feel so close.
You have touched me inside.
Yet I have yet to touch your skin.
What is it like?
I often wonder how you would be here with me.
What does your perfume smell like?
Is your skin soft to my touch?
I can only wonder what I would see in your eyes.
Could I see your soul?
So far away.
Yet so near to my heart.
I close my eyes hoping.
Hoping when I open them.
That there you will be.
Right in front of me.
No more dreaming.
No more wondering.
Just you in front of me.
Could it be true?
At last you are here.
You skin is so very soft.
Your smell so very sweet.
Your eyes so very loving.
A dream….
A dream….
Is all I truly have of you.
all over again
All over again
It seems so long ago.
Long ago we were so young.
We were just havin fun.
You asked me to dance.
I said yes despite the fact I couldn’t dance.
In the crowd I hid my moves.
And probably pulled a muscle or two.
It began so innocently.
And turned into something long lasting.
A love for then.
A love for now.
A love for many tomorrows.
Yes, it started way back then.
We are different now.
But yet our love only grows more.
You are you.
I am me.
Very different in so many ways.
Yet at the end of the day.
I would do it all again.
I simply can’t imagine.
A day without my best friend.
If I need to cry.
It is your shoulder I turn too.
If I have a funny story.
You are the first I wish to tell.
Nothing would be the same without you.
It is you and I till the very end.
Wanna do it all over again?
It seems so long ago.
Long ago we were so young.
We were just havin fun.
You asked me to dance.
I said yes despite the fact I couldn’t dance.
In the crowd I hid my moves.
And probably pulled a muscle or two.
It began so innocently.
And turned into something long lasting.
A love for then.
A love for now.
A love for many tomorrows.
Yes, it started way back then.
We are different now.
But yet our love only grows more.
You are you.
I am me.
Very different in so many ways.
Yet at the end of the day.
I would do it all again.
I simply can’t imagine.
A day without my best friend.
If I need to cry.
It is your shoulder I turn too.
If I have a funny story.
You are the first I wish to tell.
Nothing would be the same without you.
It is you and I till the very end.
Wanna do it all over again?
words are just words
Words are just words
There are so very many of them.
So many combinations of them.
But what do they really mean?
I type and type.
Creating and recreating.
Words and thoughts just seem to flow.
From deep within my mind they come to the surface.
Are they from this time?
Are they from another?
Why oh why do the words come to me?
Is it to set me free from my own demons?
Is it to set you free from yours?
Or maybe they are in fact just words.
Words with no real rhyme or reasons.
Just words flowing from my mind.
Words are just words.
There are so very many of them.
So many combinations of them.
But what do they really mean?
I type and type.
Creating and recreating.
Words and thoughts just seem to flow.
From deep within my mind they come to the surface.
Are they from this time?
Are they from another?
Why oh why do the words come to me?
Is it to set me free from my own demons?
Is it to set you free from yours?
Or maybe they are in fact just words.
Words with no real rhyme or reasons.
Just words flowing from my mind.
Words are just words.
fools afterall
Fools afterall
I wondered from the day I met you.
If you could love me like I would you.
I looked at you and fell in love.
I saw inside you what I knew was simply inside of me.
Two souls lost in the journey of life.
Now found to all my delight.
So good and so true.
So perfect with you.
So say good things aren’t meant to last.
Fairy tales are afterall just tales.
Dreams sometimes come true.
Just not for the likes of you and me.
I am a dreamer.
You were my dream.
I blinked one time too many.
And you drifted away.
Right before my eyes.
You went and moved away.
Leaving me to wonder.
Leaving me to dream.
Leaving me to wish.
Leaving me thinking of fairy tales.
Fairy tales of you and me.
I believe they would have come true.
The little girl in you.
The little boy in me.
Simply deserved it so.
All too often dreams turned to nightmares.
Leaving us just a bit jaded.
Leaving us with little faith.
Rendering us broken inside.
Afraid to give just a little more.
Fearing the pain of lost dreams.
Pains that would find us yet again.
Fools we had always been.
Fools we didn’t want to be.
So when the dream came.
All we had to do was dream.
And yet we didn’t dare to close our eyes.
Afraid a nightmare awaited.
Now again we are just fools.
Fools with a dream gone goodbye.
I wondered from the day I met you.
If you could love me like I would you.
I looked at you and fell in love.
I saw inside you what I knew was simply inside of me.
Two souls lost in the journey of life.
Now found to all my delight.
So good and so true.
So perfect with you.
So say good things aren’t meant to last.
Fairy tales are afterall just tales.
Dreams sometimes come true.
Just not for the likes of you and me.
I am a dreamer.
You were my dream.
I blinked one time too many.
And you drifted away.
Right before my eyes.
You went and moved away.
Leaving me to wonder.
Leaving me to dream.
Leaving me to wish.
Leaving me thinking of fairy tales.
Fairy tales of you and me.
I believe they would have come true.
The little girl in you.
The little boy in me.
Simply deserved it so.
All too often dreams turned to nightmares.
Leaving us just a bit jaded.
Leaving us with little faith.
Rendering us broken inside.
Afraid to give just a little more.
Fearing the pain of lost dreams.
Pains that would find us yet again.
Fools we had always been.
Fools we didn’t want to be.
So when the dream came.
All we had to do was dream.
And yet we didn’t dare to close our eyes.
Afraid a nightmare awaited.
Now again we are just fools.
Fools with a dream gone goodbye.
gonna get burnt
Gonna get burnt
Baby you just gotta realize
That when you play with fire
Theres a chance you are gonna get burnt
You played with my heart baby.
Now you gonna get burnt.
Time is ticking on past
I am thru waitin on you.
You played with fire.
It was my desire.
You gonna get burnt.
I was one in a million.
I thought it was a two way street.
Now it has all crashed.
Crashed like a runaway train.
I am not gonna be the only one hurt.
Cause when you play with fire.
Your gonna get burnt.
Yes your gonna get burnt.
You screwed with my desire.
Played with my heart.
Set me on fire.
Now it is ragin out of control.
And your gonna get burnt.
It coulda been different.
It shoulda been a two way street.
Love doesn’t work on a one way street.
It’s the way you had me fooled.
Thinkin the little girl in you.
Loved the little boy in me.
Dreams once long given to lost.
Found on a two way street.
How wrong was I ?
Girl it was a one way street.
You had me beat.
Set me ablaze inside.
Stroked my fire.
Stroked my desire.
Turned and beat feet.
Just watch out now cause you played with fire.
You played with my desire.
Now you gonna get burnt.
I ain’t gonna retreat.
My mind remembers for all time.
Just like the elephant at the circus down the street.
I remember the chains you cast upon me.
You know the ones.
Now I am free.
Like the elephant on the rampage.
I remember who hurt.
I remember who chained me.
I remember who tried to break me.
Girl you played with fire.
You played with my desire.
You set my World ablaze.
And you are gonna get burnt.
The flames are eatin me alive.
My heart melted for you.
Now like the Phoenix.
I rise again!!!
I fly again.
And you are gonna get burnt.
Baby you just gotta realize
That when you play with fire
Theres a chance you are gonna get burnt
You played with my heart baby.
Now you gonna get burnt.
Time is ticking on past
I am thru waitin on you.
You played with fire.
It was my desire.
You gonna get burnt.
I was one in a million.
I thought it was a two way street.
Now it has all crashed.
Crashed like a runaway train.
I am not gonna be the only one hurt.
Cause when you play with fire.
Your gonna get burnt.
Yes your gonna get burnt.
You screwed with my desire.
Played with my heart.
Set me on fire.
Now it is ragin out of control.
And your gonna get burnt.
It coulda been different.
It shoulda been a two way street.
Love doesn’t work on a one way street.
It’s the way you had me fooled.
Thinkin the little girl in you.
Loved the little boy in me.
Dreams once long given to lost.
Found on a two way street.
How wrong was I ?
Girl it was a one way street.
You had me beat.
Set me ablaze inside.
Stroked my fire.
Stroked my desire.
Turned and beat feet.
Just watch out now cause you played with fire.
You played with my desire.
Now you gonna get burnt.
I ain’t gonna retreat.
My mind remembers for all time.
Just like the elephant at the circus down the street.
I remember the chains you cast upon me.
You know the ones.
Now I am free.
Like the elephant on the rampage.
I remember who hurt.
I remember who chained me.
I remember who tried to break me.
Girl you played with fire.
You played with my desire.
You set my World ablaze.
And you are gonna get burnt.
The flames are eatin me alive.
My heart melted for you.
Now like the Phoenix.
I rise again!!!
I fly again.
And you are gonna get burnt.
unleashed 3
Chapter Three
As the Range Rover disappeared from view the figure began to emerge from the shadows of the forest. He stood just inside the edge of trees and looked across the road at the home of Marc Angelos. He knew what that Marc would not be turning around even if he had forgotten something back home as he had just enough time to get to work and being late at the facility was frowned upon. He had studied Marc’s routine for months and was very confident in how each of his days played out. There was little change to the routine and he admired the man for that as his own life was anything but routine. He wished for the mundane monotony of simple days and of a simple life. The thoughts of having that were what were driving him now. His Government had promised him a comfortable life after his years of service but had decided not to live up to the deals they had made with him. The fact was that the United States did what it wanted to do and answered to nobody. That was a fact that took place on individual levels and global levels. The World had reason to be nervous about the United States and he wanted nothing more than to wobble the knees of the giant. He hoped it would wake the World to the true dangers of the United States. The current administration was no different than those of the past in the respect that some things the Presidents just didn’t know and would never know about. The military and more directly the secrets of the military were what truly decided the policy of the United States.
He had been a part of it and now was on the run trying to rock the government before they could kill him. He knew they would eventually catch him and that even if he went public with his knowledge that it would just be cast aside like others before him. The people just did not want to believe their own government could be so cruel. It was true though and he would prove it beyond a doubt soon enough if he had his way. He knew people were going to die because of him but he also knew many had died because of him already during his career with the Park Service. Now he wanted to rock the Park Service and bring to light the darkness he had helped create.
He looked at the place it would all begin. He skirted the fringe of the woods and then crossed towards the Angelos’ home. Once across the road he stopped near a large tree and began to climb it. He did not go far up but enough to be able to view the area well. He wanted to make sure that everything was as usual here before he made them begin to change forever. He knew it had to start here and that Marc’s love for his family would be his way to get what he wanted from inside the facility. He was hoping Marc’s love for his family was more than his love for his country. For his sake it had to be that way, it just had to be or else the Park Service and its secrets would continue on with lives taken for what was called “the good of the country”.
A car came down the road and soon into sight of his vantage point in the trees branches. He recognized the Explorer as that of one of Margaret’s friends. She was active in the community as well with all sorts of clubs and sometimes people just came over to the home. There was no way to plan for that and he also knew it immediately meant that today would not be the day. He slithered down the tree and headed through the woods to where he had left his own ride. He hopped on the modified dirt bike and headed towards the ocean where he would exchange his dirt bike for a kayak that he would paddle along the coast till he reached the spot he parked his own Explorer. Then he would alter his appearance with a wig and fake facial hair as well as a little extra padding in the gut. There was no way he was going to be found and he made sure he went to great lengths to cover his own tracks. He would drive the few hours to Portland and then get into his speed boat berthed at the DiMillo’s marina in Portland’s harbor. He then would head to the island bunker that ironically was built by the government to hide a President. Now it is where he hid and where his contact with others who wanted the same thing he did took place. Nobody knew where he was as the bunker was thought to be locked and no longer used. The Park Service had signs warning of danger all over the area and it had scared even the local teenagers away from trying to enter. It was the perfect place to prepare and to hide. He would not be found. The plan would begin soon and he wanted it to be perfect so it had to be done at the right time. He was a patient man and so were the others. He knew getting his hands on what he needed was dangerous for everyone and that the timing was extremely important for all involved.
He would wait. He knew Marc would not be going anywhere.
As the Range Rover disappeared from view the figure began to emerge from the shadows of the forest. He stood just inside the edge of trees and looked across the road at the home of Marc Angelos. He knew what that Marc would not be turning around even if he had forgotten something back home as he had just enough time to get to work and being late at the facility was frowned upon. He had studied Marc’s routine for months and was very confident in how each of his days played out. There was little change to the routine and he admired the man for that as his own life was anything but routine. He wished for the mundane monotony of simple days and of a simple life. The thoughts of having that were what were driving him now. His Government had promised him a comfortable life after his years of service but had decided not to live up to the deals they had made with him. The fact was that the United States did what it wanted to do and answered to nobody. That was a fact that took place on individual levels and global levels. The World had reason to be nervous about the United States and he wanted nothing more than to wobble the knees of the giant. He hoped it would wake the World to the true dangers of the United States. The current administration was no different than those of the past in the respect that some things the Presidents just didn’t know and would never know about. The military and more directly the secrets of the military were what truly decided the policy of the United States.
He had been a part of it and now was on the run trying to rock the government before they could kill him. He knew they would eventually catch him and that even if he went public with his knowledge that it would just be cast aside like others before him. The people just did not want to believe their own government could be so cruel. It was true though and he would prove it beyond a doubt soon enough if he had his way. He knew people were going to die because of him but he also knew many had died because of him already during his career with the Park Service. Now he wanted to rock the Park Service and bring to light the darkness he had helped create.
He looked at the place it would all begin. He skirted the fringe of the woods and then crossed towards the Angelos’ home. Once across the road he stopped near a large tree and began to climb it. He did not go far up but enough to be able to view the area well. He wanted to make sure that everything was as usual here before he made them begin to change forever. He knew it had to start here and that Marc’s love for his family would be his way to get what he wanted from inside the facility. He was hoping Marc’s love for his family was more than his love for his country. For his sake it had to be that way, it just had to be or else the Park Service and its secrets would continue on with lives taken for what was called “the good of the country”.
A car came down the road and soon into sight of his vantage point in the trees branches. He recognized the Explorer as that of one of Margaret’s friends. She was active in the community as well with all sorts of clubs and sometimes people just came over to the home. There was no way to plan for that and he also knew it immediately meant that today would not be the day. He slithered down the tree and headed through the woods to where he had left his own ride. He hopped on the modified dirt bike and headed towards the ocean where he would exchange his dirt bike for a kayak that he would paddle along the coast till he reached the spot he parked his own Explorer. Then he would alter his appearance with a wig and fake facial hair as well as a little extra padding in the gut. There was no way he was going to be found and he made sure he went to great lengths to cover his own tracks. He would drive the few hours to Portland and then get into his speed boat berthed at the DiMillo’s marina in Portland’s harbor. He then would head to the island bunker that ironically was built by the government to hide a President. Now it is where he hid and where his contact with others who wanted the same thing he did took place. Nobody knew where he was as the bunker was thought to be locked and no longer used. The Park Service had signs warning of danger all over the area and it had scared even the local teenagers away from trying to enter. It was the perfect place to prepare and to hide. He would not be found. The plan would begin soon and he wanted it to be perfect so it had to be done at the right time. He was a patient man and so were the others. He knew getting his hands on what he needed was dangerous for everyone and that the timing was extremely important for all involved.
He would wait. He knew Marc would not be going anywhere.
UNLEASHED Chapter Two
Chapter Two
Marc Angelos awoke to the tremor that shook his family’s home in Bar Harbor. His wife also sat straight up in bed and soon his boys came flying into join them. Earthquakes were normally rare in Maine but recently Mount Desert Island and Bar Harbor had experienced numerous small tremors. After everything stopped Marc reassured his family and then began to get ready for work. He had worked at the facility for twenty years now and was also a native of Maine. He fit right in with the local community and was active in the politics of Bar Harbor. He truly cared for the community and wanted it to be a place he could live forever with his wife Margaret and their two young boys Antonio and Marc Jr. They had a nice life here and Marc truly wanted it to continue on into his retirement. The beauty of the area and the true community of the local people were things that were becoming harder to find in this ever changing World.
Marc knew it was a special place almost as soon as he moved from his post out West in San Diego. He left Maine after high school and went to college at a university that was larger than the town he had grown up in. Things were so different for him and everything just seemed to be go right now or you missed out. Then it all changed his senior year as Agent Tom Smalls had come to him and offered a proposal. If Marc would agree to go to work for the Government they would train him in a highly specialized field of scientific study. He was told he would be making a difference in the World and would be trained to work on an infectious disease that had no known cure. He would help the World. Marc agreed and signed all the paper work that was pushed before him. Soon Agent Smalls was like his new best friend. Always inviting Marc to events and introducing him to some very well respected people in the scientific community. It all seemed like a dream for a boy from a small town in Maine and Marc ate it up. He loved the life that seemed to have fallen from the sky for him.
Marc didn’t know was exactly what the infectious disease was and how the Government truly wished to manipulate it. If he had known back then what he knew today he would never have taken the offer. It was great to be here in Maine and Bar Harbor was a wonderful place to live. If the people here only knew the danger that lurked in the National Park that was part of their community the town would likely become a ghost town overnight. Marc was sure that not a single sole would want to be near the dangers that resided in Acadia at the facility. He was nervous of it himself but had no way to get out of the job he now held. It was made clear that once you were in the facility that you were in for life. The job he signed onto was not exactly the dream he had imagined back in the days of college and Agent Smalls. A few had tried to leave the facility but they ended up never being heard from again and their families also just seemed to disappear from the face of the Earth. Marc knew he could never put his family in that situation so he had to stay at the facility. He wished he could turn back the clock and change those first meetings with Agent Smalls. He was just so naive back then and it all seemed so exciting to him after growing up in a small boring town. Everything seemed to be offered to him and while he had all the money he could ever need the one thing he did lack now was the thing he wanted the most. He wanted away from the facility and away from the dangers within its walls. Marc knew that was something that he would never have though.
He had begun to build a bunker on his property some years ago. He took his time and told his wife it was just a project for him to play with in his spare time. It was important to not let others know about his project. He was almost done and he could sense that was a good thing as he believed time was running low. The project at the facility was ready now and soon would begin testing. If it was unleashed on the World then his bunker would be the place to be for his family to be safe.
Marc left his house and got in his Range Rover to head off to the facility. He was wearing a Park Ranger uniform as that was standard attire for those at the facility until they arrived at work where they changed into scrubs for doctors and lab coats as well. At the end of every day these items were burned to make sure nothing left the facility with their hosts. Clean Park Ranger uniforms awaited them. It seemed like a waste of money but the dangers in the facility needed to stay there and no chances were taken. Even the air inside was treated before it entered or left the building by an extremely sophisticated ventilation system.
As Marc pulled out of his driveway he had no idea that he was being followed by a set of eyes in the trees across the road. The Government’s secret wasn’t all that secret afterall.
Marc Angelos awoke to the tremor that shook his family’s home in Bar Harbor. His wife also sat straight up in bed and soon his boys came flying into join them. Earthquakes were normally rare in Maine but recently Mount Desert Island and Bar Harbor had experienced numerous small tremors. After everything stopped Marc reassured his family and then began to get ready for work. He had worked at the facility for twenty years now and was also a native of Maine. He fit right in with the local community and was active in the politics of Bar Harbor. He truly cared for the community and wanted it to be a place he could live forever with his wife Margaret and their two young boys Antonio and Marc Jr. They had a nice life here and Marc truly wanted it to continue on into his retirement. The beauty of the area and the true community of the local people were things that were becoming harder to find in this ever changing World.
Marc knew it was a special place almost as soon as he moved from his post out West in San Diego. He left Maine after high school and went to college at a university that was larger than the town he had grown up in. Things were so different for him and everything just seemed to be go right now or you missed out. Then it all changed his senior year as Agent Tom Smalls had come to him and offered a proposal. If Marc would agree to go to work for the Government they would train him in a highly specialized field of scientific study. He was told he would be making a difference in the World and would be trained to work on an infectious disease that had no known cure. He would help the World. Marc agreed and signed all the paper work that was pushed before him. Soon Agent Smalls was like his new best friend. Always inviting Marc to events and introducing him to some very well respected people in the scientific community. It all seemed like a dream for a boy from a small town in Maine and Marc ate it up. He loved the life that seemed to have fallen from the sky for him.
Marc didn’t know was exactly what the infectious disease was and how the Government truly wished to manipulate it. If he had known back then what he knew today he would never have taken the offer. It was great to be here in Maine and Bar Harbor was a wonderful place to live. If the people here only knew the danger that lurked in the National Park that was part of their community the town would likely become a ghost town overnight. Marc was sure that not a single sole would want to be near the dangers that resided in Acadia at the facility. He was nervous of it himself but had no way to get out of the job he now held. It was made clear that once you were in the facility that you were in for life. The job he signed onto was not exactly the dream he had imagined back in the days of college and Agent Smalls. A few had tried to leave the facility but they ended up never being heard from again and their families also just seemed to disappear from the face of the Earth. Marc knew he could never put his family in that situation so he had to stay at the facility. He wished he could turn back the clock and change those first meetings with Agent Smalls. He was just so naive back then and it all seemed so exciting to him after growing up in a small boring town. Everything seemed to be offered to him and while he had all the money he could ever need the one thing he did lack now was the thing he wanted the most. He wanted away from the facility and away from the dangers within its walls. Marc knew that was something that he would never have though.
He had begun to build a bunker on his property some years ago. He took his time and told his wife it was just a project for him to play with in his spare time. It was important to not let others know about his project. He was almost done and he could sense that was a good thing as he believed time was running low. The project at the facility was ready now and soon would begin testing. If it was unleashed on the World then his bunker would be the place to be for his family to be safe.
Marc left his house and got in his Range Rover to head off to the facility. He was wearing a Park Ranger uniform as that was standard attire for those at the facility until they arrived at work where they changed into scrubs for doctors and lab coats as well. At the end of every day these items were burned to make sure nothing left the facility with their hosts. Clean Park Ranger uniforms awaited them. It seemed like a waste of money but the dangers in the facility needed to stay there and no chances were taken. Even the air inside was treated before it entered or left the building by an extremely sophisticated ventilation system.
As Marc pulled out of his driveway he had no idea that he was being followed by a set of eyes in the trees across the road. The Government’s secret wasn’t all that secret afterall.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Unleashed Chpt 1
UNLEASHED
The story you are about to read is fictional. It is sprinkled with facts, truths, and half truths as well. It is a figment of my imagination. You should be afraid. In fact, very afraid.
Chapter One
The area was not marked as off limits to the public and was in fact located deep within a National Park. The idea was to hide the facility in such a public place that it would escape suspicion from not only the general public but also from enemies who craved the evil that was developed within these walls. The Government was convinced the secret could be kept but they were wrong. Dead wrong.
The facility was surrounded by an electric fence and had guards that were disguised as Park Rangers. The signage said the building was a science facility for the National Park Service. It made perfect sense to have a facility such as this located in Acadia National Park in Maine as the location offered many terrains and environments to study in the surrounding area. Acadia located on Mount Desert Island offered many benefits to the scientists within its walls. The park has the highest mountain on the Atlantic Coast and is large with over 35,000 acres of land. And it was only six hours away from Boston but even better was the fact that it was only one hour from Bangor International Airport that had super long runways that accommodate any size plane that wanted to land at the airport. In fact, many large planes stopped at BIA for refueling before heading overseas to finish their journeys. More important though for the government and the “facility” as it was known was the military flights that often landed there as well. It was easy to sneak things in and out late in the night with these large planes being common in the area. Only three hours to the south was Brunswick Naval Air Station which offered more cover and patrols over the area. Training flights were common and “sonic” booms were not uncommon in the area around Acadia either. Further south there was even more protection for the facility in the shipyards that were off limits to the public and were thought to only be building or repairing ships or submarines. However, Bath Naval Shipyard and Portsmouth Naval Shipyard both had other missions as well as their public stated missions. Protecting the facility was something that was often done in the public eye as training missions or testing out new equipment or recently fixed equipment. The hidden elite units were always around but never seen.
The facility was perfect as not soul would expect such a deadly place to be located on the coast of Maine. Acadia offered forests, lakes, mountains, and the ocean as cover for the most important job the National Park Service had under its namesake.
Visitors to the park enjoyed all of the beauty without ever thinking twice about the heavy presence of Park Rangers. Acadia had more Rangers than all of the other National Parks combined across the United States. As one traveled the roads of the park little did they know that they were being watched closely from the trees that lined the roads throughout the park and eyes through binoculars on the mountains and hills. Sensors were buried at regular intervals around the area. No movement went unnoticed in the park. Visitors often spent time looking for and watching wild life that roamed the park freely. Little did they know that they were the entertainment for the Park Rangers. Each scrutinized to keep them sharp and no detail to small for them to check and re-check. The safety of the World depended on what was inside the facility remaining right where it was forever.
The story you are about to read is fictional. It is sprinkled with facts, truths, and half truths as well. It is a figment of my imagination. You should be afraid. In fact, very afraid.
Chapter One
The area was not marked as off limits to the public and was in fact located deep within a National Park. The idea was to hide the facility in such a public place that it would escape suspicion from not only the general public but also from enemies who craved the evil that was developed within these walls. The Government was convinced the secret could be kept but they were wrong. Dead wrong.
The facility was surrounded by an electric fence and had guards that were disguised as Park Rangers. The signage said the building was a science facility for the National Park Service. It made perfect sense to have a facility such as this located in Acadia National Park in Maine as the location offered many terrains and environments to study in the surrounding area. Acadia located on Mount Desert Island offered many benefits to the scientists within its walls. The park has the highest mountain on the Atlantic Coast and is large with over 35,000 acres of land. And it was only six hours away from Boston but even better was the fact that it was only one hour from Bangor International Airport that had super long runways that accommodate any size plane that wanted to land at the airport. In fact, many large planes stopped at BIA for refueling before heading overseas to finish their journeys. More important though for the government and the “facility” as it was known was the military flights that often landed there as well. It was easy to sneak things in and out late in the night with these large planes being common in the area. Only three hours to the south was Brunswick Naval Air Station which offered more cover and patrols over the area. Training flights were common and “sonic” booms were not uncommon in the area around Acadia either. Further south there was even more protection for the facility in the shipyards that were off limits to the public and were thought to only be building or repairing ships or submarines. However, Bath Naval Shipyard and Portsmouth Naval Shipyard both had other missions as well as their public stated missions. Protecting the facility was something that was often done in the public eye as training missions or testing out new equipment or recently fixed equipment. The hidden elite units were always around but never seen.
The facility was perfect as not soul would expect such a deadly place to be located on the coast of Maine. Acadia offered forests, lakes, mountains, and the ocean as cover for the most important job the National Park Service had under its namesake.
Visitors to the park enjoyed all of the beauty without ever thinking twice about the heavy presence of Park Rangers. Acadia had more Rangers than all of the other National Parks combined across the United States. As one traveled the roads of the park little did they know that they were being watched closely from the trees that lined the roads throughout the park and eyes through binoculars on the mountains and hills. Sensors were buried at regular intervals around the area. No movement went unnoticed in the park. Visitors often spent time looking for and watching wild life that roamed the park freely. Little did they know that they were the entertainment for the Park Rangers. Each scrutinized to keep them sharp and no detail to small for them to check and re-check. The safety of the World depended on what was inside the facility remaining right where it was forever.
Long ride
I know you know how I am feelin.
You been there before too.
It is a road familiar to many.
Sad but it is true.
The road of life is full of twists and turns.
Yields and merges spring out from everywhere.
Stop signs, grean lights are all their too.
Caution? I blow right on through.
Sometimes you need a hand to slow you down.
To guide you on the journey.
Sometimes you just get lost.
All the roads look the same.
Sometimes it feels they all lead to the same place.
Sometimes it feels like only your roads lead to the recycle bin.
It doesn't matter where you go or how you turn.
Your road just twists and turns.
You are simply along for the ride.
I wonder if it is time to find a new road.
Find a different place.
This drive is old.
I've lost my place.
Everything looks the same.
Everything blends together.
This seems like a long ride.
A very long ride.
You been there before too.
It is a road familiar to many.
Sad but it is true.
The road of life is full of twists and turns.
Yields and merges spring out from everywhere.
Stop signs, grean lights are all their too.
Caution? I blow right on through.
Sometimes you need a hand to slow you down.
To guide you on the journey.
Sometimes you just get lost.
All the roads look the same.
Sometimes it feels they all lead to the same place.
Sometimes it feels like only your roads lead to the recycle bin.
It doesn't matter where you go or how you turn.
Your road just twists and turns.
You are simply along for the ride.
I wonder if it is time to find a new road.
Find a different place.
This drive is old.
I've lost my place.
Everything looks the same.
Everything blends together.
This seems like a long ride.
A very long ride.
Simply for me
Walkin through town.
No destination in mind.
Just wondering around.
A man stops me.
Asks if I am okay.
I look at him with wonder.
Seeing a man that seems to glow.
I tell him I am not okay.
He asks me why although it seems he already knows.
I told him that I lost my girl.
Yes, I told him I lost you.
That my heart was cracke din two.
That the World didn't seem fair to me.
That all I ever found was despair.
Happiness was fleeting I said.
The man smiled at me.
Son I have a solution just for you.
He put his hand on my shoulder.
I felt comforted thru and thru.
Son do you want you girl back?
I looked at the man.
Ofcourse I do.
I would do anything to get my girl back.
Well son here is a deal for you.
I will tell you how to get your girl.
And lets just say that you will owe me too.
I said fine my friend.
Anything you say works for me.
Just want my girl.
So I sold my soul to the DEVIL.
Thinking it would bring me to you.
Sure enough it brought me to you.
Little did I know you were the devil too.
Leading me down a road.
Hoping I would follow you.
I followed you.
I sold my soul to the Devil in hope sof you.
I thought you were heavenly.
An angel in my eyes.
A devil in disguise.
I sold my soul just like you.
Now I wander around town.
Lost with no place to call home.
Hoping to find redemption.
Redemption so I can reclaim my very own soul.
A fool I was to believe in you.
Now I just want another chance.
A chance is all I ask.
Not for youthough.
A chance for me.
A chance simply for me.
No destination in mind.
Just wondering around.
A man stops me.
Asks if I am okay.
I look at him with wonder.
Seeing a man that seems to glow.
I tell him I am not okay.
He asks me why although it seems he already knows.
I told him that I lost my girl.
Yes, I told him I lost you.
That my heart was cracke din two.
That the World didn't seem fair to me.
That all I ever found was despair.
Happiness was fleeting I said.
The man smiled at me.
Son I have a solution just for you.
He put his hand on my shoulder.
I felt comforted thru and thru.
Son do you want you girl back?
I looked at the man.
Ofcourse I do.
I would do anything to get my girl back.
Well son here is a deal for you.
I will tell you how to get your girl.
And lets just say that you will owe me too.
I said fine my friend.
Anything you say works for me.
Just want my girl.
So I sold my soul to the DEVIL.
Thinking it would bring me to you.
Sure enough it brought me to you.
Little did I know you were the devil too.
Leading me down a road.
Hoping I would follow you.
I followed you.
I sold my soul to the Devil in hope sof you.
I thought you were heavenly.
An angel in my eyes.
A devil in disguise.
I sold my soul just like you.
Now I wander around town.
Lost with no place to call home.
Hoping to find redemption.
Redemption so I can reclaim my very own soul.
A fool I was to believe in you.
Now I just want another chance.
A chance is all I ask.
Not for youthough.
A chance for me.
A chance simply for me.
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